Merry Christmas

Dear All,

It has ended!!! Yes, my posting at Kuantan has come to an end yesterday and now I am back at PJ again. :) By the way, it is Christmas today~ Jingle Jingle ~

So,what are your plans today? Either way, do have a wonderful time ahead. :) I do miss home..plan to go home on the 28th if things goes well..

Hmm...nothing much to write at the moment..till then, take care and have a nice Christmas!

SEASON'S GREETINGS FROM SILENT SOUL..
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Yours Truly,
Chris C

Just another random update of myself...

Dear All,

How is your December treating you so far? Hope that all is going well for all of you..

First and foremost, I would like to shout aloud " THANK GOD FOR FRIDAY!!"..which means the end of two weeks and two more weeks to go till I say " Adieu, Sayonara,Bye-Bye etc. " to this creepy place!

Earlier just now while surfing through my facebook , I saw a few videos and articles about some sort of suicide thingy..pretty much common these days but my curiosity got the best of me..So I read through some of the links and found out that it is about a guy who committed suicide after breaking up with his girlfriend..But not before he posted a note on his facebook profile which is his final words to the people he know..

A moment later, a thought struck me : " Is it worth it to end a life for the sake of love ?"

I can't really comment much though since there isn't exactly an exact answer to say if it is right or wrong..Nevertheless, I would like to know your opinion about this.. ( If you guys actually even read this post that is... :/ )

Anyway, I would still like to convey my condolences and sympathy to the suicide victim's family.. and to the victim himself : "Rest in peace and may you find salvation in the afterlife.."

Before I end this post, I shall upload a photo of myself ~ Hee ...just for fun..quite some time since I actually shared my photos to scare my readers!! :P

Just me and Mr. Clown~

Till then, take care folks and do wish me luck in surviving the coming remaining two weeks here!! XXX


Yours Truly,

Chris C

Life in a Hell-hole

Dear all,

I am currently at Kuantan.. as mentioned previously, I am here for my 4th posting at the hospital here..

After being here for a week, all my excitement of coming over here has almost seep away..
This place is purely hell...

Things are expensive..in fact more expensive than KL..and the food sucks..My diet has totally being altered since day 1 itself..Somehow it is so hard to look for affordable and nutritious food here especially greens and fruits.. :(

Sort of tired of all the malay stall food..it's always "goreng-goreng" ( fried) assorted of food and not to mentioned the amount of oil and sugar..
I am now depending on oats and wholemeal for my fibre intake to allow smooth procession of the bowel system ( if you get what I mean)..
And my meal very much consist of biscuits and bread..kind of unhealthy..:( all the processed food..I am missing home already.

Then again, it is not all that bad when you have your friends around you..at least it makes things a lil tad bearable..Thanks gals!

What I can say is that I won't ever come to the eastern northern region for posting anymore if I can help it!! Nothing suits me here.. I am not a beach person and the things here are so freaking costly :(

Can't wait for my last day here..2 weeks + more to go...Wish me luck peeeps!

Till then, take care and see ya soon!

Yours ,

Chris C

Dysfunctional..

Dear All,

So many things happened these few days..I doubt if I can still keep a sane mind or totally lost it sooner or later.

Today was the first day of my final examination for this semester. I wouldn't dare to say that I did well but I think I did whatever I am supposed to do and the rest is up to fate to decide.

Somehow I am still feeling terribly grateful and relieved when the question I am being tested on is related to McKenzie technique rather than the Massage or Peripheral Joint Mobilisation component. Thank You God for your blessings.

Two more days to go with tomorrow being Therapeutic Exercise Strand and Electro Modalities on the day after tomorrow. Hoping to get something which is in my capability.. *prays hard*

Last week, had an argument with my dad. Well, I have never seemed to get along with him anyway. Sometimes what he says does make sense but then I just hate it when he is being long winded and naggy. Moreover, sometimes he just irritates me because as much as his presence in my life is important, I do find it uncomfortable at the same time too.

Then just a day after we argued, I received news from my uncle that he was admitted to the hospital due to a fall..I do suspect that it might be due to him drinking too much prior to the fall since he was talking gibberish the other day when we were arguing through the phone.

I am not sure of his condition but at the moment,he is conscious but sustained injuries at his spine ( not sure which level though..but uncle did mention something about at the cervical neck region)..So currently he is paralysed from the lower extremities in which I am not very sure as well since I have yet to go visit him due to business in exam preparation etc. Anyway, I do hope he is okay and maybe visit him after my last examination. ( Deep inside me, I don't feel like seeing him at all because I don't want another argument to arise but still..sigh..)

As much as I have gotten used to this dysfunction family situation ( mummy one side and daddy another side and being pushed here and there ), sometimes I just get so emotional and abnormal.
After a long time since I last cried, I finally had a quick one yesterday night.Feeling lost and lonely and no one to share this with.

Anyway,for now as Willie told me, it is better to put aside family matters for now and concentrate on my exams instead..At least that is the best solution at the moment.

Well, time to get cracking and going..TE and Electro, I am gonna do my best to get through both of you.

Till then, take care and cheers.

Yours Truly,

Chris C

Letting it go ...

Dear all,

How is your weekend? Is it a lively one or a quiet one like mine?
Somehow I am feeling lost today..not knowing what to do on a Saturday.. wanted to go out but my financial status at the moment does not permit me to do so..

So what did I do today?

- Slept till 12 pm (OMG..I am such a pig but hey, cut me some slack..I need it after having sleepless nights due to assignment and revision )

- Workout in the house..yes, I need to burn off all those calories and fats due to my cookies overindulgence

- Jogging..err,yes again..same reason as above.. ( Somehow I sound like an exercise freak right? But then I am not fit at all *cries* )

- Karaoke session in the evening ( refer to below)

Currently while I'm writing this, I am singing along to one of my favourite song by Sun Yan Zi : 风筝 ( Kite) in my room..Still remember how I used to listen to this song during my secondary school days..bringing back memories of the past..almost cried while singing but managed to hold back those tears..A very touching song indeed..

So, I thought of sharing this song with all of you..hoping that you would enjoy it too..and sing along to it..

Sun Yan Zi - 风筝 ( Kite )




Lyrics :

(Hanyu Pinyin) :

wo bu yao jiang ni duo bang zhu yi miao
wo ye zhi dao tian kong duo mei miao
qing ni ti wo qiao yi qiao

tian shang de feng zheng na er qü liao
yi zha yan bu jian liao
shei ba ta de xian jian duan liao
ni zhi bu zhi dao

cong qian de wo men na er qü liao
lu tai yüan wo wang liao
ru guo ni xiang fei wo ming liao
ni zi you ye hao

kan ni chuan yüe yün duan fei de hen gao
zhan zai shan shang de wo da shen jiao wo
ye xü ni ya bu hui ting dao
ba meng xiang zhao dao yao guo de gen hao

wo bu yao ai qing de di chao
wo hui wei xiao yan lei bu zhun diao
wo hen hao hou lai de ni hao bu hao
ni hui zhi dao wo mei you zou diao

hui yi fei jing feng li liao
tian shang de feng zheng na er qü liao


(English Translation) :

I don't want to keep you tied up for a second more.
I also know how beautiful the sky is.
Please watch after me.

Where did the kite in the sky go?
In the blink of an eye it is nowhere to be seen.
Who cut its string?
Do you know?
What happened to the way we used to be?
The road is too far, I have forgotten.
If you want to fly I understand
It's probably better for you to be free.

Seeing you break through the clouds, flying very high,
standing on top of the mountain, I loudly shout, whoa-oh-oh.
Maybe you won't hear me.
Find your dreams, have a better life.

I don't want love's depression
I will smile, tears are not allowed to fall.
I am fine; the new you, how are you?
You will know I have not left.

The memories have flown into the wind.
Where did the kite in the sky go?

[end]

I know recently I have been posting entries which emits aura of laziness and boredom..sorry about that.. Just felt the need to pour out my thoughts and feelings somewhere since I am not good in expressing myself verbally..but I am still hoping that you guys will still be following me and support me along my journey in this lifetime..

Well,till then..take care and have a nice weekend..

Yours Truly,

Chris C

No more teary days..

Dear all,

Please...if you are reading this..please try to visualise a scene of you smacking my head..no,im not into masochism..don't get me wrong! I just need some motivation to do my assignment which is due in FOUR more days even if it got to be the hard way...(=3=)

I am just trying my best to pick up all the broken pieces of myself scattered all over to move on to another phase in my life..No longer do I care about the past..If possible,I wouldn't want to remember them at all even if there are sweet moments here and then..

Look forward..look forward..march on..march on..Be someone I can be proud of..and this,I would need your help..walk with me in this journey of a silent soul...

Not much to write at the moment.But a brief update will be that I have moved to my new place..this would be my 2nd week here and so far,everything is fine..=) But somehow,the depression doesn't really go away so I am still trying hard.Do wish me luck!!

and I need to get a part time job badly..as soon as examination and posting is done..no long break for me I guess...sigh~

I shall end this post with a music video and it's lyrics..Originally sung by the band " The Cure", this is a current version covered by a Brazilian singer , Jay Vaquer..Hope you would enjoy this song.."Boys don't cry"

BOYS DON'T CRY BY JAY VAQUER




LYRICS:

I would say I'm sorry,
If I thought that it would change your mind.
But I know that this time,
I have said too much,
Been too unkind...

I tried to laugh about it,
Cover it all up with lies.
I tried to laugh about it,
Hiding the tears in my eyes.
Cause boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry.

I would break down at your feet,
And beg forgiveness,
Plead with you.
But I know that it's too late,
And now there's nothing I can do...

So I tried to laugh about it,
Cover it all up with lies.
I tried to laugh about it,
Hiding the tears in my eyes.
Cause boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry.

I would tell you,
That I loved you,
If I thought that you would stay.
But I know that it's no use,
That you've already,
Gone away...

Misjudged your limit,
Pushed you too far,
Took you for granted,
I thought that you needed me more...

Now I would do most anything,
To get you back by my side.
But I just keep on laughing,
Hiding the tears in my eyes,
Cause boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry...

[END]

Till then,take care and have a good day ahead.

Lots of love from yours truly,

Chris C

Moving forward

Dear All,

Finally we are reaching the last day of October..Merely 3 months to go till we bid farewell to year 2010.

Today will also be my last day staying at the campus hostel..I am finally moving out..let's just hope that everything will turn out well and even better once I am at the new place..and also that I will get along with the new roommate whom I don't even know well.

Things are kind of busy here at the moment..I still have one assignment to rush (*Procrastination*) and loads of practice for my upcoming examination.Do pray that this silent lil' dreamer get through all of this smoothly..(>o<)

Life is meant to be tough isn't it? Eversince the departure of *you*, I have not had the courage to love another..but I am trying hard to convince myself that I am content with being alone for now..Priorities boy..Priorities!!

Anyhow,I am moving forward..to the unknown future but I think that I will be alright as long I have all of you by my side..so please stay and don't leave me alone.

I shall end this post with a modified nursery rhyme in conjunction of Halloween which is today.

" Hickory Dickory Dock,
We shouted "OMG"! ,
The clock struck twelve ,
All ghost came out,
Hickory Dickory Dock" ~ Happy Halloween Folks!

Hmm... I love a certain part of a word in this rhyme..*hee*..see if you can guess it right..

Till then, take care and lots of greetings from:

Yours Truly,
Chris C

Death

Sometimes, I just loved the idea of being dead.
A relief, an escape from this chaotic world.
Can I end my life now?
Surely nobody would miss my absence.

From Me to Myself and You Pt 1 : Solitude..

Dear All,

Just stumbled upon this song while I am browsing through my music folder..
Somehow felt that I can actually relate myself to this song..
Thus,
I would like to dedicate this song to myself and also to whom it may concern and lastly but not least,all my readers..


一個人生活 (Yi Ge Ren Sheng Huo/Single Life) by 林凡 ( Freya Lin )





LYRICS :

葉子在窗外輕輕爺
ye zi zai chuang wai qing qing ye
The leaves outside of the window are falling down lightly.

人行道沒有行人走過
ren xing dai mei yiu xing ren zou guo
There are no pedestrians passing by the sidewalks.

鏡子裡的我很不像我
jing zi li de hen bu xiang wo
The me inside the mirror does not seem like me.

自從你離開了我變得很軟弱
zi cong ni li kai le wo bian de hen ruan ruo
Ever since you’ve lefted me, (I’ve) became very weak.

你的影子在每一個角落
ni de ying zi zai mei yi ge jiao luo
Your shadows are at every corner,

好像是在提醒著我
hao xiang shi zai ti xing zhe wo
Like it is reminding me

少了你的陪伴我現在有多寂寞
shao le ni de pei ban wo xian zai you duo ji mo
That without your company, the me right now is very lonely.

我想我可以習慣一個人生活
wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren sheng huo
I think I can get use to living alone.

我想我可以假裝不曾愛過
wo xiang wo ke yi jia zhuang bu ceng ai guo
I think I can pretend that I had never been in love before.

冰涼的夜裡讓眼淚溫熱我
bing liang de ye li rang yan lei wen re wo
The warm tears warms me up during this cold night.

感覺如果要走誰能說 no
gan jue ru guo yao zou shei neng shuo no
If (one of us) need to leave, who would say “no”?

我想我可以習慣一個人生活
wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren sheng huo
I think I can get use to living alone.

在記憶裡面擦去你的承諾
zai ji yi li mian ca qu ni de cheng nuo
Erasing your promises in my memories.

愛情怎麼會是這個結果
ai qing zen me hui shi zhe ge jie guo
How can love have this kind of ending?

愛情是個夢而我睡過頭
ai qing shi ge meng er wo shui guo tou
Love is a dream and I’ve overslept.

[END]

*Lyrics courtesy of chinesemusicblog.com


Yours Singly,

Chris C

.........

There are moments when you feel so lost and start to breakdown gradually and when all you want to do is to shout and cry aloud like nobody's business...This is the kind of moment I am currently facing....

" Attraversiamo "

Dear All,

Currently,the Monday morning weather is fair..but the environment here is NOISY..some construction and renovation works at the second floor of my block..Bing Bang Bong..sigh..

So here I am.."enjoying" all the extra sounds and scenery over a cup of Tenom Cafe Latte..I am not an avid coffee drinker but I felt the need to have one this morning..Another heart-breaking shock of my life when I discovered that I have lost the whole folder of my Bossanovas and Jazz collections..I must have deleted it by accident without noticing it while transferring some other files into my portable hard disk..I swear I could have smack myself hard for being such a klutz!!! *cries*

Sorry..I shall continue to mourn my loss later..Lets get back to today's post for now..

Went to watch the movie " Eat , Pray , Love " yesterday and I found myself enjoying the show very much..

Based on the best-selling memoir of the similar title by Elizabeth Gilbert, this movie is about a woman who finds herself in the middle of a failed marriage and a fail relationship,thus embark on a journey in search of her spiritual faith and herself.

Portrayed by the ever beautiful Julia Roberts, we followed the travels of the author across the world ( Italy, India and Bali ) meeting different kinds of people and experience different kinds of culture..As we walk along with her, we are able to see the transformation of a lost distraught woman into a stronger one.

This movie if not the book is indeed an inspirational one..It makes you think..it makes you realise that life is more than what you think it is..it makes you feel connected and there are some scene in which you can relate yourself to that of what the author have went through..

There are quite a number of thought provoking quotes throughout the show and one of my favourite * Warning: Spoiler here * goes like this :

"Do not look at the world through your head, look at it through your heart."- Ketut Liyer

Well,I would like to share more of the movie but I wouldn't want to spoil it for you so watch it for yourself and do tell me what do you think of it.. :)



Well,that's all for now I guess...till then,take care and have a nice week ahead...now I shall continue to mourn my loss...sob..my poor collection of bossanovas jazz...why o why... \(T_T)/

See you later...alligator..

Yours Mourning,

Chris C

From Me to You Pt.4

我活了.. 我愛了.. 我都不管了

心愛到瘋了.. 恨到酸了..就好了

風箏有風 , 海豚有海

我存在在..我的存在

所以不再為愛而愛..

自己存在 在你之外...

分手快乐...你走了....可是我会继续好好的过日子

一个人的 孤单是没什么了不起.....[end]


Yours,

Chris C @ 蒋钿明

Chang Er and Me

Dear All,

Hows things going for you guys? I hope that it is better than my current situation dealing with water supply crisis at the campus hostel which I am getting really tired and annoyed with..Just hoping to get a suitable place to move out as soon as possible..*sigh*.. Should have done that earlier.. :/

Anyway..

Last Wednesday was the Mid- Autumn celebration or commonly known as the " Mooncake Festival " where people indulge in the sinfully delicious calories packed Diabetes causing pastry and small children played with fire by burning lighting up candles and lanterns..

So in accordance to the festival, my class decided to have our very first own cohort celebration since most of us are away from home and it is a good chance to share this wonderful culture with our non-chinese classmates..:)

Name of Event : Mooncake Festival a.k.a Cohort 2 Lighting Sessions ( WTF..LoL)
Date : 22nd Sept 2010
Venue : Taman Jaya , PJ

.......I am feeling lazy to type any more further details........

So,

As they say " Pictures speaks a sen no kotoba-wa ", I am posting up some photos instead for the torture pleasure of my dear reader's eye.. :P

The lighting team with the lights on

The team with the lights off *lol*

Cool Looking Formation :D

Group pose once again

MOONCAKES!!

`

Kong Ming Lantern 1

Kong Ming Lantern 2

Kong Ming Lantern 3: Up up and away~

Kong Ming lantern 4 : Bye~ Bon Voyage~

Yours Truly with his Lantern and Lighting teams :)

Well,thats all for now folks..see ya all another time~ :)
Cheers and take care~

* Photos courtesy of Lee Li and Sheng Mei..special thanks to both of our superb photographer :) *

Yours,
Chris C

Rantings of a Homesick Crybaby

Dear All,

Hope that you're doing well over there..
Looks like it is raining over here again..Owh well,it is the rainy season all over again..

Anyway,I have just reached PJ yesterday..Somehow still feeling slightly homesick..Almost burst into tears yesterday when I saw a little girl bidding farewell to her big sister on the bus..This kind of scene never fail to wrench and touch my heart.. :x ( I know I'm a crybaby~)

Woke up this morning with a sore Trapz muscles though...all the room and toilet cleaning ( One month worth of dust and dirt) and luggage hauling ( from Bukit Jalil to PJ ).. I am not surprised..>< .. ouchie~

The next trip home would be on Christmas itself..Sob..Still a long way to go..

Oritey, I shall end my entry with a particular song from the animated movie " Bolt "...LOL.. Yeah, I watched it with my sis at home and we both loved it~

BARKING AT THE MOON By JENNY LEWIS ( From BOLT OST)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kxCxhkkhIs

( Can't seemed to find any videos that is embedded enabled so I guess you guys have to click on the link above instead to listen to this song..sorry for the inconvenience :x)

LYRICS :

I have got so much to give, I swear I do.
I may not have nine lives, this one feels brand new.
Yes I've lived a good one.
I have tried to be true.
There are some things I never realized, till I met you.
How the wind feels on my cheeks, when I'm barking at the moon.

[chorus]
There is no home like the one you've got, cuz that home belongs to you.
Woo Woo! Here I come.
Woo Woo! Back to you.
There is no home like the one you've got, cuz that home belongs to you.

Well I was in trouble, bad.
I was so confused.
I may not see in color babe, but I sure can feel blue.
I have been a lot of things, they may not all be true.
My experience was so mysterious, till I met you.
Now the sun may rise in the east, but I'm barking at the moon.

[Chorus]
There is no home like the one you've got, cuz that home belongs to you.
Woo Woo! Here I come.
Woo Woo! Back to you.
There is no home like the one you've got, cuz that home belongs to you.

There is no home like the one you've got, cuz that home belongs to you.

There is no home like the one you've got, cuz that home belongs to you...

[end]


Till then,hope you guys enjoy the song and have a nice day ahead :)

Yours Truly,

Chris C

From Me to Myself Pt.3

Dear Me,

Everything will be okay...Even though you are all alone now but remember that you are never truly alone because you still have yourself to love and care about..

This is a song for you and I hope that it will bring up a little joy inside you..:)

KODOKU NO KAKERA ( Fragments of Loneliness ) by ANGELA AKI




LYRICS:

Kanji Lyrics :

Tokei no hari ga niji wo sashite
Konya mo nemurenu yoru ga kita
Koi no hitotsu ushinattemo
Douyou suru koto wa nakatta
Ima made nara tameiki wo tsuite
Kako ni fukitobashite ita

Ai shikata ga wakaranai dake ja naku
Hito wo shinjiru koto ga dekinai mama
Tada jikan dake ga sugite yuku
Watashi wo okizari ni shite

Kanashimi ga atte hitori ni natte
Kodoku no kakera wo mune ni daite
Anata ni deatte hajimete kizuita
Shiawase ga aru koto wo

Ame ni nurete tatta ichido
Futari ga musubareta ano yoru
Kakaeta itami mo subete wasurete
Shoujiki ni naretan da

Tsugunau koto wa imasara dekinai kedo
Akirameru ni wa mada hayai ki ga suru
Dekaketa kotoba wo nomikonde wa
Mata anata ni se wo muketa

Yasashisa ga atte nukumori ga atte
Kodoku wa sukoshi zutsu tokete yuku no
Uragiri ga atte sore demo shinjitai
Shiawase ga aru koto wo

Tsuyogarazu anata ni tsutaeru kara
Kondo wa kaeranaide

Kanashimi ga atte hitori ni natte
Kodoku no kakera wo mune ni daite
Namida wo nagashite jibun wo yurushite
Kodoku no kakera wo tebanashitara
Ashita wa waratte anata wo ai shite
Shiawase wo kanjiyou
Shiawase ni nareru kara

English Translation :

The hands of the clock point to two
Tonight's another sleepless night
I lost my one love but it didn't upset me so far
So I just deeply sigh and let the past go

It's not that I don't understand the one I loved
I just couldn't place faith in anyone around me
Time just keeps passing
Leaving me behind

When I became sad, When it was just me alone
I would hold the fragments of loneliness close to my heart
When I first met you, I realized for the first time
That there was such a thing as happiness

Just once,while I was soaking in the rain
I connected with you and forgot all my pain
Forget about everything and I could finally be honest

Even though it's too late to make up for things
But I feel like it's too soon to give up
But as you turn your back to leave,
I swallowed my words

When I felt your warmth and received your kindness
The loneliness started to fade,little by little
Even though I've been betrayed, I want to believe
That there is still happiness for me

I found the courage to tell you
That this time you wouldn't have to come back to me

When I became sad, When it was just me alone
I would hold the fragments of loneliness close to my heart
As I shed my tears and forgave myself
I let go of the fragments of loneliness
Tomorrow I'll smile and love you
I'll feel the happiness
Because there is happiness for me

[END]

Lots of Love and Hugs ,

Your other self

Another End

This is something to serve as a final reminder to myself..
A moment to remember: 28/8/10 ; 7.30 pm ..
Where it all ends .. not that this is my first but sometimes a wound cut too deep can be hard to cure..
Then again, I know I will be fine.. It is better to let one to take all the pain rather than both side.. and if that's the case,let me be the one..

To who it may concern,I hope that you are really happy now..

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW BY MICHELLE BRANCH




LYRICS:

Now,
don't just walk away
pretending everything's okay and you don't care about me.
And I
know it's just no use.
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(chorus)
Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now.
Oooh.
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You
took all there was to take,
and left me with an empty plate and you don't care about it, yeah.
And I
am giving up this game,
and leaving you with all the blame, cause I don't care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(chorus)
Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now oooh.
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Oooh.
Are you happy now?

Yeah, yeah.
Do you really have everything you want.
You could never give something you ain't got,
you can't run away from yourself.

Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on tell it to my face or have I been replaced,
are you happy now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ohh, ohh.
Yeah.
ohh oh.
Would you look me in the eye,
could you look me in the eye.
I've had all that i can take i'm not about to break cause I'm happy now.
Oooh.

Are you happy now?


.....and I really hope that you are so my sacrifice will not go in vain.


Yours ,

Chris C

Homesick

Dear All,

It is already middle of July already..and next month I would be going for my 3rd Clinical Posting at Malacca General Hospital from 9th August onwards till 3rd September 2010..

It's been a long time since I went home..If I am not mistaken,the last time I went home was during Chinese New Year..almost 5 months ago!! Gasp! I am missing mum and sis..and the goodness of home already..

Somehow,each time when I planned to go home,something would have pop out and disrupt my plans..For example, I am supposed to have a 2 weeks break after my first semester exam but it got cancelled abruptly without any valid reason..sigh..then it is straight to sem 2..Can you imagine how stressful was it?? :(

Anyway,I found this song by Angela Aki titled "HOME" .. Just the right song to express my feeling at the moment...


HOME by Angela Aki




Lyrics ( courtesy of www.corichan.com ):

sensai na ito de soboku na machi ni shibaritsukerareteta koro
miageru tabi ni sora wa utsushita, haruka ni tooi sekai wo
chiisana basho wo ato ni shite kara dore kurai mou tatsu no darou
Home is calling

I was tied to this simple town with a fine thread
and whenever I looked up, the sky reflected a distant world far away
After I leave this small place behind, I wonder how much time will pass till
Home is calling

furusato kokoro no naka de ima demo yasashiku hibiiteru
samishisa ga shimitsuita yume no nai yoru ni wa anata wo yonde iru

Even now, my home is echoing gently in my heart
On the dreamless nights tainted with loneliness, I'm calling you

tokai no sora ni yume wo takushite kokoro wo gisei ni shiteru
yashin to ai no chouwa ga torezu daremo ga samayotte iru
kazaranakatta seijitsu na hibi kono goro nazeka koishiku omou
Home is calling

I entrust my dreams to the city sky, sacrificing my soul
Ambition & love don't mix; everyone is wandering about
They were honest, ungarnished days & for some reason, I recently think of them fondly
Home is calling

furusato taezu ni ai shite kureta sonna hito no kao wo
mou ichido mite mitai, kyoushuu ni karare anata wo yonde iru

I want to once again see the faces
of the people in my hometown who constantly gave me love
Homesick, I'm calling out to you

kako to ima no aida no tobari wo sotto hiraite miru to
sora no wareme kara koboreru hikari ga meguru jidai wo sashite ita
Home is calling

When I open the curtain between the past & the present,
The light spilling from the break in the sky, shines on the revolving times
Home is calling

furusato kokoro no naka de ima demo yasashiku hibiku yo
todomaru koto wo shiranai kibou ni mi wo makasete itemo
samishisa ga shimitsuita yume no nai yoru ni wa anata wo yonde iru
Home is always calling out my name

Even now, my home is echoing gently in my heart
Even if I trust myself to the hope with no limits
On the dreamless nights tainted with loneliness, I'm calling you
Home is always calling out my name

samishisa ga shimitsuita yume no nai yoru ni wa
anata wo yonde iru
furusato wo yonde iru

On the dreamless nights tainted with loneliness
I'm calling you
I'm calling home

Yours Truly,

Chris C. the Homesick Silent Soul

First week of July

Dear All,

Hoping that you are all fine..It's been a long week or at least it seemed to be one..
Was down with flu and mild sore throat but thank God that at least the sore throat is cured..currently nursing my stuffy nose..Must be due to the ever changing weather and also the ongoing construction at my campus..Well,do take care of yourselves and take plenty of fluid..

I have to say that last sem was a blur and this sem is worst..somehow I find it hard to figure out what exactly am I supposed to study..even after going through the module booklet..I mean ,its not that I am totally lost..just that I have no idea as in whereabout to start..

And also eversince the last exam,I found myself increasingly laidback about skipping my usual daily jog fix..wondering if I am really that worn off...perhaps its my body cue telling me its time to slow down..

Owh well...that is all I can say for now..till then..take care peeps

Yours sincerely.

Chris C

A Friday's Confession

Dear All,

Too Lost In You by Sugababes

I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going in crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can mess with me
(No one can mess with me)

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)


Yours Truly,
Chris C the Confessor

A Farewell

Dear All,

How are things going for all of you? I hope that all is well.

Approximately 5 and a half hour from now, someone is leaving Malaysia..To be more precise,one of my lecturer.

Mr. Karthik or fondly known as Mr. 90 Kg ( Due to his weight! ) is flying back to India for good...While being a soft-spoken man,he is also one of the most dedicated tutor I have came across in my life as a student.

Mr.K during Cameron trip

Final Class Photo

Candid Shot

Somehow wished that he could have stayed longer but having a family waiting for him back at India,there is no helping it and perhaps this is for the best.

No doubt that with his absence,things will never be the same..But life goes on and surely this is not a farewell but a new start for everyone..

Thanks a lot Mr.K for your guidance and everything you have done..You will surely be in our ( Cohort 2) heart forever..

Have a safe flight back and all the best in your future undertakings..Do take care and keep in touch.

Yours Truly,

Chris C.

Past, Present and the unknown Future..

Dear All,

Time does fly terribly fast...In a blink of the eye,we have reached halfway through the year 2010.

Looking back in time,so much has happened..yet..

There may lie some unfortunate regret and issue unresolved somewhere somehow...

A new semester has began..unsure of my performance during the last semester but I have a feeling it would not be a good one..then again,I shall go on with my life and wait till then..and from there,I shall think of something.

Life is getting tiring..constant worries everyday..are we meant to exist in this world to be a worrisome creature..paranoid of every moving seconds..expecting the unexpected in the unforeseen future while struggling to live in the present and trying to forget the dark past?

Time is such a powerful tool..the fear of all mankind as nothing can escape from time..Things change..and sometimes it may not be towards the direction you want it to be..and all is left is fragments of memory may it be a good one or vice versa.

Constantly telling myself to move forward and yet move slow..savour every moment to the fullest..Life may not be a bed of roses..but if you try hard enough to pause and observe,one may catch a whiff of the fragrant smell of the roses which is a reminder that beneath every hardship,there would be a reward waiting at the end of the rainbow.

People come and go..not many would have stayed put in your life..each having their own goals in life,thus moving towards their own direction searching for what they longed for..a desire unfulfilled.

Close my eyes and take a deep breath..listens to the inhalation and exhalation of the very life force in our body..the beating of the heart..unconsciously feel the movement of my joints..the wind which blows every strand of my hair..the sound which travels into your ears and creates a story in your mind's eye..

Just need a rest...time and tide may not wait for man but it is in your hands to use whatever time given in your own way albeit every moment passed could never be rewind..

Keeping in touch with the invisible spiritual faith..trying to explain the unexplainable in your own words..trying to catch up with the world..preserving every moment with your loved ones..before it all perishes...

A complicated melody playing inside my head,a mixed reaction of feelings..unsure which path to go..when the heart and mind says otherwise..Isn't life a funny thing..

Just like now itself,finding solace in penning down whatever random musings may it make sense or not..after all its a representative of my winding mind..generated from the consciousness within myself..

You are here..and then gone..so am I..leaving every regrets behind and reaching out to the uncertainty ahead of me..that is the way it should be..no harm looking back once a while but to dwell in it is forbid..

Walking in the streets,shyly gazing the faces of strangers...not daring to make eye contacts..but for sure a silent smile is engraved across the face..

Wishing to expand my horizons..to see the world before it ends..or before my time ends..........


Yours Truly,

Chris C. the Dream Weaver

From Me to You Pt.3

Dear All,

It is June already..Time really flies yeah..
Anyway, just want to share a song over here..:)

Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz ft Ludacris


Lyrics:

[Ludacris:]
LUDA!
Now I may not be the worst or the best but you gotta respect my honesty.
And I may break your heart, but I don't really think there's anybody's as bomb as me
So you can take this chance, in the end everybody's gonna be wondering how ya deal
You might say this is Ludacris, but Taio Cruz tell em' how ya feel!

Now listen to me baby
Before I love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna deceive you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I might tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

woah woah woah (x4)

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]
There's no point trying to hide it
No point trying to evade it
I know I got a problem
By doing this behaving

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I might tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]

[Ludacris:]
(Thats all I'm gonna do woman)
Listen, now I'm only gonna break your heart
And shatter and spatter it all into little itty bitty pieces
Whether or not you get it all together
Then its finders keepers and losers weepers
See I'm not trying lead you on, no I'm only trying keep it real
You might say this is Ludacris, but Taio Cruz tell her how you feel!

[Bridge]
And I know karma's gonna get me back for being so cold
Like a big bad wolf I'm born to be bad and bad to the bone
If you fall for me I'm only gonna tear you apart
Told ya from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]

Woah woah woah [x4]


Yours Truly,

Chris C

From Me to Myself Pt.2

Dear All,

Just another song dedication to myself..and all of you..

" Rainy Days Never Stays " by The Brilliant Green



LYRICS:

ROMANJI :-

I always took the easy way
Just sit around and complain
It's now time to say goodbye

Ukabiagaru koukai wo
Tsukimatou yuu'utsu wo
Sotto kumo ni nagashite

I will find the answer in my heart so...
Ikutsu mono sekai ga kowaretemo
Hatenai akogare ga kono mune ni furisosogu

'Raining all day' going away
Step out to be myself again
Oikaketai It's an amazing day!
'Raining all day' has gone away
Ano natsu no you ni
My dream... soba ni ite mitsukeru kara

Tanchou na hizashi to tanchou na nami ni
Kizu wa iete yuku

Fukai kokyuu no naka de yagate ame ni natte
Umi ni tokeru kara

Koukai ga okubyou ni sugata wo kaete yuku
Iya na hi mo

Kodoku ni tsukamaranai
Tsuyosa wasurenaide

'Raining all day' nando mo
Furikaeru yume wo
Akirameru koto ga kowagatta
'Raining all day'
Harenai yozora mo aru kedo
Little star... ki ga tsuite
Rainy days never stays

'Hurry now it's time to say goodbye, goodbye
Sun is waiting for you to arrive, alive
Hurry now it's time to say goodbye, goodbye
Door is open for you to.....'

'Raining all day' going away
Step out to be myself again
Ima yasashii kaze wo ukete
'Raining all day' has gone away
Ano natsu ni nemuru My dream...
kiss me once again
I'll find a better way

'Raining all day' going away
Can't wait to go and spread my wings
Blowing a kiss to me,
hello amazing day!
'Raining all day' has gone away
Sunshine of mine, just be with me
keeping my heart warm as today
Rainy days never stays

ENGLISH TRANSLATION:-

I always took the easy way
Just sit around and say complaints
It's now time to say goodbye

My regrets rise up to the surface
And my melancholy dangles after them
They quietly float by on the clouds

I will find the answer in my heart so...
No matter how often the world is broken apart
An endless yearning will downpour in my heart

"Raining all day" going away
Step out to be myself again
I want to chase after it, it's an amazing day!
"Raining all day" has gone away
Like that summer
My dream...be with me, and I'll find it

In the boring sunlight and boring waves
My wounds are healing

Amidst my deep breath, it will start raining soon
And the rain will fuse into the sea

My regrets change into cowardice, on bad days
I can't grasp a hold of my loneliness, without forgetting strength

"Raining all day" so many times
I was scared to give up on the dreams that I look back on
"Raining all day"
The night sky is cloudy, but
Little star...realize that
Rainy days never stays

"Hurry now it's time to say goodbye, goodbye
Sun is waiting for you to arrive, alive
Hurry now it's time to say goodbye, goodbye
Door is open for you to..."

"Raining all day" going away
Step out to be myself again
Now, taking in the gentle wind
"Raining all day" has gone away
Sleeping in that summer, my dream...kiss me once again
I'll find a better way

"Raining all day" going away
Can't wait to go and spread my wings
Blowing a kiss to me,hello amazing day!
"Raining all day" has gone away
Sunshine of mine, just be with me
keeping my heart warm as today
Rainy days never stays =)


Till then,cheers..

Yours Truly,

Chris C a.k.a .......