The stranger beneath myself

Dear All,

I am tired...
Tired of trying to figure out what is it that I want from life...
A successful career? A happy ever after ending? A ......I don't know..whenever someone ask me something..even if it is a simple question like " What would you like to have for dinner?"....my answer will always be " I don't know... or Anything... or I might even repeat the similar question back to the person who asked me..."

Sometimes I just want to escape from life..from reality..Let someone else take over myself while I hide inside a secret hole deep inside my soul...dreaming for eternity..until the time is right for me to wake up and regain my consciousness...such is a way of a daydreamer..a coward...a fantasizer.. such is a person I am..

Trying to lead a life in which I am trying my best to please everyone without considering myself..but recently nothing turns right..sometimes what you do is not appreciated..and you end up being label "selfish" when all you try to do is to make a living and survive in this realistic harsh world..

To my other self...what do you see when I am not around...Do you experience what I experienced...or was it something better?

Exam creeps around the corner...an assignment remain untouched and delayed as usual when procrastination takes over it's course..problems arising each day and no solution found...a heart torn between two..and an immeasurable guilt building up inside each day...

Who am I? What am I? Can someone please tell me..:(

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore by James Morrison



LYRICS:

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching us fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Coz I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

This song has been playing in my WMP over and over and over...It reflects myself and the world I am in now...all I need now is to embrace and look out for the stranger that resides in me..the another me...

That's all for now..this entry may not make any sense but it is certainly something which has been bugging me for quite some time now...Till then,take care and see ya all soon..cheers and God bless..

Yours Truly,

Chris C.

A Trip To "Peaceful Land" a.k.a Taiping

Dear all,

I have to admit that I have not been here for quite some time..just being so occupied with exams, studies and so on..and at the same time having the writer's block and also lacked of motivation to write anything here..LOL

Oritey,as promised,today I shall blog about my trip to Taiping last month..Ben asked me if I want to visit his hometown at Taiping..Since I have not been there before and my schedule ain't too pack,I agreed and decided to tag along.

So,Ben picked me up straight from British Council after my invigilating duties at Inti College.Anyway due to drowsiness and fatigue,I slept through the whole journey there..So there isn't much I talk about here except for the fact that I woke up with a bad neck ache..ouch..(T.T)..

The whole journey from KL to Taiping took us like 4 hours plus and the weather was terribly hot..I swear that I feel as if I am travelling through some dessert..Gosh..

When we reached Taiping,I noticed that the whole town looks very post-colonial..old buildings..It is as if I have travelled back to the 50s or 60s..haha..The first place we went to was Ben's home..Believe it or not, although we were at the right housing area, Ben couldn't remember which was his house..LOL..and had to depend on the "room to let" sign-board on the house gate..yeah,since his siblings are all married and no longer stayed there,the house is kinda empty with only his mum so they decided to rent out the extra rooms..sounds like a smart plan to me..after all,who couldn't say no to some extra cash at times like this..

Its was a bit awkward at first when I met his mum..haha..partially because I have no idea what to say and also my hokkien ain't that fluent..but still managed to get through it..thank God..haha

So while,my stay there,I met Ben's elder bro,Johnny and younger sis, Annie and their respective families..Coincidence,it is the Cheng Beng week or so call the Chinese "all souls day"..So I went with his family to give a hand in cleaning their ancestor's grave and also Ben's dad's grave..Yeah,I do feel guilty because I didn't turn up to clean my own grandparent's grave..:X Sorry Ah Ma and Ah Kong ..>.<.. Then again,I have to admit that I have been eating non-stop from the moment I reach Taiping..Popiah, Mee Rebus, Wan Tan Mee , etc. etc. ...Gosh..I realised that whenever Im go somewhere for vacation,I am sure to gain extra weight..(T.T)...Plus it doesn't help when Ben's mum is such a good cook..She whips up a mean Otak Otak and Chilli Sambal !! Gotta ask Ben to learn the secret of the otak otak from his mom..haha..by the way,one interesting fact about Ben's mum..she once won the local state beauty pageant contest..Cool huh.. After indulging myself in all those foods and delicacies, its time to work out a lil bit..So following Johnny's recommendation, Ben took me to one of the golf club around for a swim..well,since we are not members so a sum of rm6 was charged in order to utilise the swimming pool..It was kind of worth it though since the pool is well maintained and there isn't much people around..Felt like its my own private pool..haha. If ever you are in Taiping,the are some MUST visit places such as the Taiping Lake Garden...calm ,serene and full of natural goodness (sounds like some food advertisement) and for all the avid joggers out there,this is a great jogging spot..unfortunately, I did not got the chance to jog there yet due to time constraint..Another place of attraction would be Maxwell Hill a.k.a Bukit Larut..Sort of like a mini Cameron/Fraser...a place to go if you like sight-seeing and nature and also the cool weather..For those faint hearted ones,I wouldn't recommend taking the jeep up the hill although that is the only option available unless if you plan to hike up there which takes about 3-4 hours..Good stamina training though.. :)

And yes of course..the Taiping Zoo...however couldn't comment much about it as I have not been to it yet..LOL

Hmmmm....Im feeling it..It is coming back..oh no..another bout of writer's block..great..although there is more things to share but I just can't seemed to put them down in words...sob..you know what..I guess I will just end my entry here..but fret not..before I do so ,I shall include a link of the photos taken during the trip for the pleasure of your eyes only..:)

Click here:
Taiping Trip Photos


Till then,cheers and take care..I don't know when will I be back again but do watch out for my next entry..:)

Yours Truly,

Chris C. a.k.a the peaceful untalented blogger :x

From Me to You Pt .2

Dear All,

Just a little something which I would like to share with all of you..hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did..:)

愛してる AISHITEIRU ( I Love You ) by KOURIN (高鈴)



ねぇ　もう少しだけ
もう少しだけ聞いていてほしい
ねぇ　もう少しだけ
もう少しだけわがままいいですか？
Nee mou sukoshi dake mou sukoshi dake
Kiite ite hoshii
Nee mou sukoshi dake mou sukoshi dake
Wagamama ii desuka?
Hey, just a little more,
I want you to listen just a little more.
Hey, just a little more,
can I be a little more wilful?


手にいれた途端に消えてしまいそう
言葉をくれませんか？
Te ni ireta totan ni kiete shimai sou
Kotoba wo kuremasen ka?
It seems like it’ll disappear the moment I obtain it.
Won’t you please say something to me?


『愛している　愛している　世界が終わるまで』
馬鹿げてると笑いながら　口に出してみて
愛している
そんなことが簡単には出来なくて
上手く愛せるようにと
あの空に祈っている
Aishite iru aishite iru
Sekai ga owaru made
Bakagete ru to warai nagara
Kuchi ni dashite mite
Aishite iru sonna koto ga
Kantan ni wa dekinaku te
Umaku aiseru you ni to
Ano sora ni inotte iru
I love you, I love you until the world ends.
Trying to say that - "I love you" as you laugh and call it stupid.
Unable to do such a simple thing easily,
I pray to the sky that I am able to love properly.


ねぇ　知りたくても
知り尽くせないことばかりで
だから　１つにならない２つの体を
精一杯　抱きしめた
Nee shiritaku temo
Shiri tsukuse nai koto bakari de
Dakara hitotsu ni naranai
Futatsu no karada wo
Sei ippai daki shimeta
Hey, although I want to know,
there are too many things I can’t understand.
That’s why we embraced these two bodies
that won’t become one with all our might.


あなたがいるそれだけで　もう世界が変わってしまう
モノトーンの景色が　ほら鮮やかに映る
いつの間にか離れていた　手をつないで歩いてく
上手く愛せているかなぁ
あの空に聞いてみるの
Anata ga iru sore dake demo
Sekai ga kawatte shimau
Monotone no keshiki ga hora
Azayaka ni utsuru
Itsu no ma nika hanarete ita
Te wo tsunaide aruite ku
Umaku aisete iru kana
ano sora ni kiite miru no
The world changes just by you being here with me.
Look, this monotonic scenery is now reflecting such vividness.
Before I’m aware, the separated hands are held together as we walk.
I’ll ask the sky
if I’m loving properly.


いつか離ればなれになる日がきても
あなたを想った日々があればそれでいい
いつか離れた意味を知る日が来るよ
約束するから　明日へ
Itsuka hanare banare ni naru hi ga kite mo
Anata wo omotta hibi ga areba sore de ii
Itsuka hanareta imi wo shiru hi ga kuru yo
Yakusoku suru kara ashita e
Even if the day we must part comes,
having the days where I can think of you is enough.
Someday the day I’ll understand why we separated will come.
Because we made a promise, lets move on to tomorrow.


『愛している　愛している　世界が終わるまで』
馬鹿げてると笑いながら　口に出してみて
愛している
そんなことが簡単には出来なくて
上手く愛せるようにと
あの空に祈っている
Aishite iru aishite iru
Sekai ga owaru made
Bakagete ru to warai nagara
Kuchi ni dashite mite
Aishite iru sonna koto ga
Kantan ni wa dekinaku te
Umaku aiseru you ni to
Ano sora ni inotte iru
I love you, I love you until the world ends.
Trying to say that - "I love you" as you laugh and call it stupid.
Unable to do such a simple thing easily,
I pray to the sky that I am able to love properly.


あの空に祈っている
Ano sora ni inotte iru
I pray to the sky.


Yours Truly,

♫ Chris C ♥

A story of His Marchness on the month of March

Dear All,

I am BACK!!!
Please say that you guys missed me..pretty please~ NO? Awwwwww...Boo Hoo~
Yeah,it's been some few weeks back since I last updated my blog and this is due to lack of inspiration and motivation ( Yeah..since I don't get any support from anyone of you :P ) and also myself being occupied with class and stuffs ( What stuffs? I don't know either but there's always something which keeps me busy and yet I kept complaining of boredom all the time..how ironic..)

As it is the last day of March so I thought of highlighting some interesting event I did on the month of March. These are things which I did, watch , eat and went throughout the whole month:


Books read:

- The Art of Happiness by HH Dalai Lama & Howard C. Cutler



- The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger




- The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas by John Boyne




Movie Watched:

- Hot Summer Days




-Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief




- Alice In Wonderland ( 3D)





- Up in The Air




- The Lovely Bones





Food Eaten :
- Seoul Garden
- Popiah
- Mee Rebus
- Lo Bak
- Wan tan Mee
- Char Kueh Kak

* Words highlighted in yellow are all eaten during Taiping trip

Travel :
- Taiping ( For Leisure)
- Inti College, Nilai ( For Work)

Weather:
- Either scorching HOT or heavy RAIN (=.=)

So there,that's is more or less of all the things I have achieved in the month of March :)
Of course,I would want to blog about each activities individually but I guess the lazy bug is affecting me..:P

Okay..okay..stop bombarding me already for being so lazy..I shall at least blog about my trip to Taiping.. But not now though..maybe in the coming day or two..>:P

Well,till then..see ya all soon ..cheers and take care :D

Yours Truly,


His Lazy Royal Marchness, Chris C

Reminisce...

Dear All,

Have you ever looked back on your past and wished that some things will just remained the same forever?

Browsing through my music collection,I stumbled upon this particular song. A very meaningful one indeed and also happened to be one of my favourites of all time.

"Sakurairo Maukoro" or simply translated as " When the cherryblossom colours flutters" ( the title sounded pretty poetic huh? :P ) which is sang by the sultry songstress cum actress, Mika Nakashima...Beautiful music along with beautiful voice and beautiful lyrics...All I can say it is a very beautiful song which I hoped you guys would enjoy too..:)




And here is the lyrics for the song along with it's English translation ( In Yellow)

桜色舞うころ ( Sakurairo Maukoro) by 中島美嘉 (Mika Nakashima)

桜色舞うころ, 私はひとり
押さえきれぬ胸に 立ち尽くしてた
Sakurairo maukoro, watashi wa hitori
Osae kirenu mune ni tachi tsuku shiteta

When the cherryblossom colors flutter, I’m alone
Standing exhausted, I can’t cut off these feelings bottled up inside


若葉色 萌ゆれば 想いあふれて
すべてを見失い あなたへ流れた
Wakabairo moyureba omoi afurete
Subete wo miushinai anata he nagareta

When the color of new leaves shake, feelings overflow
I lost sight of everything and drifted towards you


めぐる木々たちだけが
ふたりを見ていたの
ひとどころにはとどまれないと
そっとおしえながら
Meguru kigi tachi dakega
Futari wo miteita no
Hito dokoro ni wa todomare nai to
Sotto oshie nagara

The trees around us told us in silence
That we would both see:
People don’t have to be limited to one place


枯葉色 染めてく あなたのとなり
移るいゆく日々が 愛へと変るの
Karehairo someteku anata no tonari
Utsurui yuku hibi ga ai he to kawaru no

When the withering leaves change color, I am next to you
And as the passing days fade, our love changes


どうか木々たちだけは
この想いを守って
もう一度だけふたりの上で
そっと葉を揺らして
Douka kigi tachi dake wa
Kono omoi wo mamotte
Mou ichido dake futari no uede
Sotto ha wo yurashite

But please, let these trees
Protect these feelings
Silently rustling your leaves above us,
Just one more time..


やがて季節はふたりを
どこへ運んでゆくの
ただひとつだけ 確かな今を
そっと抱きしめていた
Yagate toki wa futari wo
Doko he yakonde yuku no
Tada hitotsu dake tashikana ima wo
Sotto dakishimeteita

Before long, the seasons will pass
And we will be taken somewhere else
But right now, there’s only one thing I know
Embrace me, silently


雪化粧 まどえは 想いはぐれて
足跡も消してく 音無きいたずら
Yuki keshou madoe wa omoi hagurete
Ashiato mo keshiteku otonaki itazura

Covered by the snow, the feelings get lost
The footprints vanish, sounds disappear in vain


どうか木々たちだけは
この想いを守って
「永遠」の中ふたりとどめて
ここに 生き続けて
Douka kigi tachi dake wa
Kono omoi wo mamotte
“Eien” no naka futari todomete
Koko ni iki tsudukete

But please, let these trees
Protect these feelings
So that, frozen in eternity
We may live on here


めぐる木々たちだけが
ふたりを見ていたの
ひとどころにはとどまれないと
そっとおしえながら
Meguru kigi tachi dakega
Futari wo miteita no
Hito dokoro ni wa todomare nai to
Sotto oshie nagara

The trees around us told us in silence
That we would both see:
People don’t have to be limited to one place


桜色舞うころ, 私はひとり
あなたへの想いを かみしめたまま
Sakurairo maukoro, watashi wa hitori
Anata he no omoi wo kamishimeta mama

When the cherryblossom colors flutter, I’m alone
Savoring my thoughts of you


Yours Truly,

Chris C a.k.a the Melancholic One

Life of an Invigilator

Dear All,

It has been almost four months since I quit my one year old job as a part time Barista for The Coffee Bean and Tea Leafs. The decision to quit is not an easy one but I decided that it is time for me to move on and try out something else instead.

By stroke of luck, my Godpa asked if I am interested to be a part time invigilator for the IELTS exam on behalf of The British Council. Being jobless that time, I took up his offer and went for the job briefing..

Basically what does an Invigilator do?

- Preparing seating plans and stationary for the candidates.
- Registering and verifying the identity of candidates.
- Ensure properties and belongings of candidates are being taken care of.
- Ushering candidates to their respectful seats.

- Giving briefing to the candidates about the exam procedure (usually done by the Head of Invigilator in charge).
- Giving out exam answer sheets and question papers to the candidates.
- Ensuring candidates fill the details on their answer sheet correctly and accordingly to the instructions as per given.
- Walk around the exam (except during listening test) to ensure no cheating occurs.
- Photo checks and ID check again ( I find this very irritating and I think the candidates felt the same too ).
- Escort candidates to washroom when required.
- Collect answer sheets and questions papers from candidates when times up.
- Recount collected answer sheets and question papers.
- Offer assistance to candidates if needed with exception of certain issues like asking about answers?? LOL.
- Last but not least, ensure that all belongings and properties are being returned back to the respective candidates.

Such is the routine of an Invigilator..There's also the Usher for the Speaking test as well but I'm gonna keep that for another time. As glamorous and simple as this job sound and seem but the truth is there's lots of challenges and certainly a quick rapid reaction and movement and lots of patience is needed as part of requirement of an Invigilator.

One thing I like about this job is that the working hours are sort of flexible compared to my previous job..and you don't have to interact too much..action speaks louder than words here. :)

As I am still new,there is a lot to be learned and observed..wish me luck!

Yours Truly looking proud in his Invigilator uniform :P Gosh, I am looking so tanned up..blame the sun :(

One of my assigned test venue, Kolej Yayasan UEM (KYUEM) at Lembah Beringin..

The Exam Hall in KYUEM..That's one of my fellow Invigilator, Ziv carrying the luggage bag with the confidential exam documents :O

Thats all for now folks..I know it's short but I will do better next time..it's a promise :)

Till then,have a nice day and cheers~


Yours Truly,

Chris C

CNY at Hometown 2

Dear all,

Sorry for my absence..It has been a really busy week and as a result,I didn't have much time to update my blog.

Anyway,back to today's entry..As promised,I will share with all of you about my Chinese New Year celebration at my hometown no.2,a small town called Layang-Layang which is situated south of the Kluang district,Johore.

As usual like any other year, my aunt from Klang will drop by Malacca to pick me up from my uncle's place and then I will be travelling down to Johore along with her family..

In the past, when my 3 cousins and I were still young,the backseat of the car seemed to be very spacious or at least comfortable.Now that we have all grown up,things are a little cramped up. By the time we reached our destination,I can feel that my butt has already "shape-shifting"..LOL

To cut short all the details, these are summary of activities which I have done during my 3 days stay there:

- Red Packet Collecting
- Gossips Listening Sessions (Conducted by the womenfolks..the homme species just listens in amusement)
- Eat..eat...eat...drink..drink..(digest)..continues to eat and drink while the weighing scale keeps on increasing...(= =)
- Kuo Ming Lantern releasing ( Its illegal but well...Hee..since when we start
abiding by rules during festive season)
- Grudgingly but without choice..studying for my musculoskeletal paper resit

Yeah..thats about it..so pretty boring right? That's all I can say about my CNY celebration this year..nothing fantastic or out of the world..

I will end this entry with some photos..haha..I know I'm not a good photographer,neither do I have those high tech gadget [ Still depending on my faithful k750i built in 2mp camera :/ ]

Till then,cheers and have a good one..:)

Blek...I hate this year's CNY

Behold...freeze!! You guys are under arrest!! These are the culprits (besides yours truly) that cause the unwanted extra weight..><..I swear..I'm innocent..they are the one who seduced me..I am unaware of my actions!!

My glass of home-made red wine..yum yum..I'm not an alcoholic!!

Family members loitering gathering outside at the lawn of grandparent's house

Me sipping on my glass of wine..Don't worry..I am of legal age..hee~

Yours truly,

Chris C a.k.a the Innocent Wine Loving Accuser