Pre-CNY blues

Dear all,

Hows things going for you guys? Hope all's good. Mine is just well, long days, short night..Still jobless and enjoying life with the bank account going red alert..OTL

Anyway, CNY is coming soon like less than 4 days?Usually this is the time of year which I am sorta looking forward to ( Angpau, Goodies etc) but apparently, the situation will be the opposite this year.

Why you ask? Well, for one, I am expecting there will be loads of questions being asked by family and relatives , " Have you gotten a job yet"? "What are your plans now that you have finally graduated after what seems to be forever ( trust me, for some, a 4 years degree feels like 10years..and every year without fail, people will be asking me the same questions as if they are doing some sort of countdowns: "How many years to go?" or "Have you graduated yet?")..not to mention that most cousins around my age have already started working..

As such, I am pretty erm..nervous?anxious?freaking out? for what is to be expected this upcoming CNY..God or whoever up above, make me invisible..

Anyway, I hope that job opportunity would appear after CNY..because I need to resuscitate my dying bank account..so that I can continue buying/funding my hobbies and life.

Shall end this post with this song:  A-Team by Ed Sheeran



Cheers,

Chris C

FFK

Dear all,

Have you have people ffk-ing you? I get that a lot and sometimes I am not even bothered anymore when the same person ask me out again.I understand that you are busy etc but if you are please do not make empty promises and make me treat you like a VIP and waste precious time which I can use for something else instead of waiting for you to tell me or sometimes not even telling me that you cant make it ( usually at the eleventh hour).

So anyone of you have the similar experience? do share with me :)

p/s: was there by chance when people ask you out like out of the blue and you get annoyed because it feels like you are either just by chance along their way or like you are being asked not because they want to but because there are no one else for them to approach ( sth like a extra spare tyre)?

cheers,

Chris C

SPAM SPAM SPAM

Dear all,

Not sure if you guys faced the similar problem but I have been receiving quite a number of spam comments on my blog entry.

No no, I mean real spam..comments that is irrelevant and mostly goes like " Tramadol, fast action etc etc..some weird drug and pharmeceutical related product " by some certain anonymous.

It's really annoying and the fact that I have to keep deleting them every single day. OTL

Been thinking if I should activate the option of asking readers to type some random word before their comments are posted sort of thing. But personally, I dislike that option as I think it is troublesome and a hassle.

Tell me what do you guys think about it and any other suggestions.

p/s: oh wow..my entry had exceeded 100..and I just realised that. \(>o<)/...ok lah~ ~ ~...not that my entries are interesting anyway..unlike other bloggers with their juicy stories, mine is just purely nonsense and random stuffs.

Till then,

Cheers and Regards,

 ChRiS C~ ;)

Yamcha?

Dear all,

I think I am a bad socialiser..a terribly bad one.

When someone ask you out to catch up , to yamcha , to whatever you call it, what do you usually do?

eg: mamak? old town? movie? I dont know. I find all this kinda boring. I don't drink ( alcoholic drinks) nor am I able to come up with interesting topics.In the end, it's like staring at the wall, then back to the person, then shift to the cup, mumble a few words, then the cycle repeats..then pay up and go home.

Somewhat a waste of time.. and money too if you consider the overpriced drinks.

or perhaps it all depends on the company you are with?

I dont know. Just rather stay in and then..do nothing?but at least I am at the comfort of so called "home"..

Share your thoughts~

Yours Boring Hermit,

Chris C

Nooby!

Dear all,

Came across this video on youtube and wow~ the dance and cosplay was epic..much better than mine..



Remembered my first time on stage..it was hazardous but nevertheless a good experience..



Yours Jelliness,

Chris C

p/s: gotta improve myself in terms of make up skills and also body! OTL

OMFGFML!

Dear All,

Damn! I am having trouble concentrating on my finals.I am now in Halloween mood (==)..FML!

Someone, please just slap me hard..

Yours laziness,

Chris C

Decision

I have made up my mind.

To finally say goodbye.

After trying hard to manage my emotion.

I think this is for the best.

I am just a loser when it comes to being "friends" with certain people.

I wish I hadn't known the person in the first place.

It's my fault.Therefore I shall shoulder the blame.Perhaps I have been expecting and thinking too deeply and too much on the issue.

No regrets. I walk on just like how the person walks his life too. Maybe our aim in life is different.

I shan't think too much now. It's a short short encounter but nevertheless, thank you very much.

Peace.

Final Push

Dear all,

Yours truly has still yet to get his internet connection back so be patient yeah.Hopefully by this weekend, everything will be back to normal!!

It's going to be a busy month though..one month of final preparation for the last hurdle of my university life ( HOPEFULLY!)..and once all this is over, I guess I can slowly sit back and relax, enjoying the flavours of freedom until I get my 8 to 5 job..(Q.Q)..the taste of adulthood and full independence that is..

Well, Christopher, just hang on there and fight like your life depend on it ( matter of fact, it does actually)..I am already thinking of where to go for vacation after this..lol! backpacking maybe? and also the various cosplans I have in my head..oh dear, and it all involves $$$$!!! any kind sponsors here?

The one in dilemma,
Chris C

Temporary Relief..Unintentional Absence...LOADS of FRUSTRATIONS!!

One burden off my shoulder..the moment I got rid of that bloody FYPs..GOSH!!!Hallelujah!!!! Of course I know it is just a short term relief as there's still the presentation and final practicals..Q.Q

As much as I want to update my blog,the lack of access to Internet renders me helpless..Stupid inefficient people from the Internet company keeps delaying the date of installation..and now I can only get back my Internet Connection at home on Saturday, that's even if things manage to go well as planned..or I will be wringing some necks over the next few days..

I am amazed that I actually managed to survive without any Internet during my early school days but now? I feel like dying every moment..I feel so out of touch with everybody around me..like I am stranded in some sort of island or something..somebody please just rescue me!!

I feel sorry for my readers for constantly having to put up with my bitching whining all the time but trust me, I seldom complain unless if it necessary for me to do so..and this is urgent..so now I am stuck at the campus utilising the lousy snail line which threatened to block me out because apparently I  " Exceeded the quota or something"..WTF..since when the public Internet line have got a quota system????? Mahsa, you gotta do better than this man...I am not paying a whole load of sum of money for this kind of facilities..it's not as if I am purchasing a cheap drink at McDs and leeching the WI-FI..this is a COLLEGE ( which got upgraded to University status recently but (spits saliva)...seriously doesn't even deserve that kind of upgrades)..so you should ensure that there is ADEQUATE Internet connection for your students!!!! Good thing that I am done with my FYP or else I would be committing suicide due to inability to access any journals with this crappy line.

Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh .....I miss the people around me..

2000++ more to go!!!

Dear All,

Imma exhausted...

Progress very very slow..tortoise-like speed...

Too many distractions..too many flirtations..

But I shall keep holding on, keep calm and type on..

I need a long long long vacation once all this is over...........seriously!

Till then,

Yours truly,

Chris C the exhausted one

p/s: I can hear thunder!! gonna rain soon!!

The Bitch

Dear all,

Now that I am in my final year, things are getting tougher and stress is building up intermittently that I have no idea if I am able to handle it.

Incompetency and also bad communication skills leads to a bad outcome and being the hot tempered me, I practically just lashed out but not on purpose. I guess I need some anger management session.

and then...


Comes this girl whom I have been standing up to, been giving advice to, been helping out whenever I can..Just a single word from her horse mouth during my most down hour makes things even worse. I am going to label her as "the bitch".

I don't understand how some people can be so dense, so inconsiderate.  Yes, I know part of it is my fault and I should have handled the situation in a more matured way but some things are just too much and deprived of all the emotional support, I am practically just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode anytime soon.

Being selfish is not a sin but a way to survive in this harsh world but of course as a last resort when every single aspect have been considerate with the less possible damage.

Oh well, I don't know but I am for sure won't be one who forgives easily anymore..

p/s: hey bitch, fuck you!

The pissed one,

Chris C

5th Clinical Placement - Week 1

Dear All,

The usual annually event is back: Clinical Postings! and now that I am in my 3rd year, 1st semester, this time it will be my 5th one..whereabout? Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah(HTAR) @ Klang, Selangor.

The environment there isn't too bad and the physiotherapist there are pretty helpful and willing to guide as well as teach unlike the few previous clinical postings.

Workload-wise wasn't too bad but I supposed that was because I am at the wards on the first week..But as usual, time is never enough due to my tendency to spend lots of time on one patient before moving on to the next one which is pretty inefficient.Sigh~ Blame my soft-heartedness.

Anyway, three more weeks to go and also I am feeling miserable, thanks to the double killer assignments as well as my personal problem which bothers me now and then..

Shall stop here for now.See ya peeps.

Yours Truly,

Chris C

New Semester

Dear All,

After a long break of almost two months, it is time for my new semester of my third year..Which means... Back to class once again..I don't know if I am looking forward to it or if I am still not prepared for it..lol

Anyway, if you are wondering what I have been doing all this while..that is if you notice my hiatus from my blog page for quite a period of time ( for the past two months, I suppose)..well, I don't know where should start but let's just make is simple : I have been trying to earn some extra pocket money living cost funds for this coming semester...

So far have been working as promoter for the IT fair ( A pretty crappy IT fair though :/ ), the usual IELTS invigilation/ushering , and also my new part time job after Coffee Beans..."Store Associate" at Borders Bookstore at Gardens..

and... I didn't went back for CNY celebration this year..just for a change but I am DEFINITELY going back next year!!! Because of the red packets...XD Seriously...this year's amount has been like only less than 10% of the normal amount I usually received..*SAD CASE*

Other than that, I don't think there's much thing to share over here...

Hmmmm..actually there's a few issues to be highlighted but I am just plain lazy sleepy..lol..Alright then..maybe another time.

Well, till then..see ya folks soon enough...gotta grab some sleep for tomorrow...
Night and take care!


Yours,

Chris C

Acceptance

Dear All,

I feel dejected..not by anyone but myself..
Haven't been keeping a strict regime on my diet intake and workouts..
As a result, I can already see myself gaining more weight each day and the new breakouts on my face doesn't help much either..
You guys may think that : " Gosh..this guy is so shallow and narcissistic" but well,I couldn't help it..
Just for once,I would like to look good and feel good about myself..Having a pretty low self esteem of myself makes things worse..*sigh*

Another issue which I had in mind is regarding the old man..Why can't he just disappear from my life..such a bothersome creature..yes, I am very thankful for him for bringing me up but I don't see a big deal on it..after all, if he can bring me to this world,this is his responsibility..In my eyes however, he is a failure, I mean a total failure..Curse me all you want, label me as an ingrate and an unfilial son but I don't exactly give a damn anymore..and to my dear uncles, I am sorry that he has been such a trouble to all of you..and I am sorry that I couldn't repay the favour..

I don't know what to do now..seriously I am feeling so lost..all I want is to live my life the way I want to without depending too much on anybody..just me, myself and I..

:(,Chris C

Moving Forward

Dear all,

Whoa...It's year 2011 already! Not that it make much difference to me. These days, everyday is pretty much the same to me..similar problems which never seemed to get resolved and new problems emerging before the previous ones disappear.

And some people just don't change..for instance me..Complaining and grunting about everything under the sun as usual.LOL

New year, New resolution?Maybe,Perhaps..

Anyway,it is just another year to work harder and be a better person hopefully~

Will end this entry with an uplifting song :


* FIREWORKS *by Katy Perry





Lyrics :

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that tehre's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

[END]


Well,till next time..take care and have a great day ahead~


Cheers,

Chris C

Just another random update of myself...

Dear All,

How is your December treating you so far? Hope that all is going well for all of you..

First and foremost, I would like to shout aloud " THANK GOD FOR FRIDAY!!"..which means the end of two weeks and two more weeks to go till I say " Adieu, Sayonara,Bye-Bye etc. " to this creepy place!

Earlier just now while surfing through my facebook , I saw a few videos and articles about some sort of suicide thingy..pretty much common these days but my curiosity got the best of me..So I read through some of the links and found out that it is about a guy who committed suicide after breaking up with his girlfriend..But not before he posted a note on his facebook profile which is his final words to the people he know..

A moment later, a thought struck me : " Is it worth it to end a life for the sake of love ?"

I can't really comment much though since there isn't exactly an exact answer to say if it is right or wrong..Nevertheless, I would like to know your opinion about this.. ( If you guys actually even read this post that is... :/ )

Anyway, I would still like to convey my condolences and sympathy to the suicide victim's family.. and to the victim himself : "Rest in peace and may you find salvation in the afterlife.."

Before I end this post, I shall upload a photo of myself ~ Hee ...just for fun..quite some time since I actually shared my photos to scare my readers!! :P

Just me and Mr. Clown~

Till then, take care folks and do wish me luck in surviving the coming remaining two weeks here!! XXX


Yours Truly,

Chris C

Life in a Hell-hole

Dear all,

I am currently at Kuantan.. as mentioned previously, I am here for my 4th posting at the hospital here..

After being here for a week, all my excitement of coming over here has almost seep away..
This place is purely hell...

Things are expensive..in fact more expensive than KL..and the food sucks..My diet has totally being altered since day 1 itself..Somehow it is so hard to look for affordable and nutritious food here especially greens and fruits.. :(

Sort of tired of all the malay stall food..it's always "goreng-goreng" ( fried) assorted of food and not to mentioned the amount of oil and sugar..
I am now depending on oats and wholemeal for my fibre intake to allow smooth procession of the bowel system ( if you get what I mean)..
And my meal very much consist of biscuits and bread..kind of unhealthy..:( all the processed food..I am missing home already.

Then again, it is not all that bad when you have your friends around you..at least it makes things a lil tad bearable..Thanks gals!

What I can say is that I won't ever come to the eastern northern region for posting anymore if I can help it!! Nothing suits me here.. I am not a beach person and the things here are so freaking costly :(

Can't wait for my last day here..2 weeks + more to go...Wish me luck peeeps!

Till then, take care and see ya soon!

Yours ,

Chris C

Letting it go ...

Dear all,

How is your weekend? Is it a lively one or a quiet one like mine?
Somehow I am feeling lost today..not knowing what to do on a Saturday.. wanted to go out but my financial status at the moment does not permit me to do so..

So what did I do today?

- Slept till 12 pm (OMG..I am such a pig but hey, cut me some slack..I need it after having sleepless nights due to assignment and revision )

- Workout in the house..yes, I need to burn off all those calories and fats due to my cookies overindulgence

- Jogging..err,yes again..same reason as above.. ( Somehow I sound like an exercise freak right? But then I am not fit at all *cries* )

- Karaoke session in the evening ( refer to below)

Currently while I'm writing this, I am singing along to one of my favourite song by Sun Yan Zi : 风筝 ( Kite) in my room..Still remember how I used to listen to this song during my secondary school days..bringing back memories of the past..almost cried while singing but managed to hold back those tears..A very touching song indeed..

So, I thought of sharing this song with all of you..hoping that you would enjoy it too..and sing along to it..

Sun Yan Zi - 风筝 ( Kite )




Lyrics :

(Hanyu Pinyin) :

wo bu yao jiang ni duo bang zhu yi miao
wo ye zhi dao tian kong duo mei miao
qing ni ti wo qiao yi qiao

tian shang de feng zheng na er qü liao
yi zha yan bu jian liao
shei ba ta de xian jian duan liao
ni zhi bu zhi dao

cong qian de wo men na er qü liao
lu tai yüan wo wang liao
ru guo ni xiang fei wo ming liao
ni zi you ye hao

kan ni chuan yüe yün duan fei de hen gao
zhan zai shan shang de wo da shen jiao wo
ye xü ni ya bu hui ting dao
ba meng xiang zhao dao yao guo de gen hao

wo bu yao ai qing de di chao
wo hui wei xiao yan lei bu zhun diao
wo hen hao hou lai de ni hao bu hao
ni hui zhi dao wo mei you zou diao

hui yi fei jing feng li liao
tian shang de feng zheng na er qü liao


(English Translation) :

I don't want to keep you tied up for a second more.
I also know how beautiful the sky is.
Please watch after me.

Where did the kite in the sky go?
In the blink of an eye it is nowhere to be seen.
Who cut its string?
Do you know?
What happened to the way we used to be?
The road is too far, I have forgotten.
If you want to fly I understand
It's probably better for you to be free.

Seeing you break through the clouds, flying very high,
standing on top of the mountain, I loudly shout, whoa-oh-oh.
Maybe you won't hear me.
Find your dreams, have a better life.

I don't want love's depression
I will smile, tears are not allowed to fall.
I am fine; the new you, how are you?
You will know I have not left.

The memories have flown into the wind.
Where did the kite in the sky go?

[end]

I know recently I have been posting entries which emits aura of laziness and boredom..sorry about that.. Just felt the need to pour out my thoughts and feelings somewhere since I am not good in expressing myself verbally..but I am still hoping that you guys will still be following me and support me along my journey in this lifetime..

Well,till then..take care and have a nice weekend..

Yours Truly,

Chris C

No more teary days..

Dear all,

Please...if you are reading this..please try to visualise a scene of you smacking my head..no,im not into masochism..don't get me wrong! I just need some motivation to do my assignment which is due in FOUR more days even if it got to be the hard way...(=3=)

I am just trying my best to pick up all the broken pieces of myself scattered all over to move on to another phase in my life..No longer do I care about the past..If possible,I wouldn't want to remember them at all even if there are sweet moments here and then..

Look forward..look forward..march on..march on..Be someone I can be proud of..and this,I would need your help..walk with me in this journey of a silent soul...

Not much to write at the moment.But a brief update will be that I have moved to my new place..this would be my 2nd week here and so far,everything is fine..=) But somehow,the depression doesn't really go away so I am still trying hard.Do wish me luck!!

and I need to get a part time job badly..as soon as examination and posting is done..no long break for me I guess...sigh~

I shall end this post with a music video and it's lyrics..Originally sung by the band " The Cure", this is a current version covered by a Brazilian singer , Jay Vaquer..Hope you would enjoy this song.."Boys don't cry"

BOYS DON'T CRY BY JAY VAQUER




LYRICS:

I would say I'm sorry,
If I thought that it would change your mind.
But I know that this time,
I have said too much,
Been too unkind...

I tried to laugh about it,
Cover it all up with lies.
I tried to laugh about it,
Hiding the tears in my eyes.
Cause boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry.

I would break down at your feet,
And beg forgiveness,
Plead with you.
But I know that it's too late,
And now there's nothing I can do...

So I tried to laugh about it,
Cover it all up with lies.
I tried to laugh about it,
Hiding the tears in my eyes.
Cause boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry.

I would tell you,
That I loved you,
If I thought that you would stay.
But I know that it's no use,
That you've already,
Gone away...

Misjudged your limit,
Pushed you too far,
Took you for granted,
I thought that you needed me more...

Now I would do most anything,
To get you back by my side.
But I just keep on laughing,
Hiding the tears in my eyes,
Cause boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry.
Boys don't cry...

[END]

Till then,take care and have a good day ahead.

Lots of love from yours truly,

Chris C

Moving forward

Dear All,

Finally we are reaching the last day of October..Merely 3 months to go till we bid farewell to year 2010.

Today will also be my last day staying at the campus hostel..I am finally moving out..let's just hope that everything will turn out well and even better once I am at the new place..and also that I will get along with the new roommate whom I don't even know well.

Things are kind of busy here at the moment..I still have one assignment to rush (*Procrastination*) and loads of practice for my upcoming examination.Do pray that this silent lil' dreamer get through all of this smoothly..(>o<)

Life is meant to be tough isn't it? Eversince the departure of *you*, I have not had the courage to love another..but I am trying hard to convince myself that I am content with being alone for now..Priorities boy..Priorities!!

Anyhow,I am moving forward..to the unknown future but I think that I will be alright as long I have all of you by my side..so please stay and don't leave me alone.

I shall end this post with a modified nursery rhyme in conjunction of Halloween which is today.

" Hickory Dickory Dock,
We shouted "OMG"! ,
The clock struck twelve ,
All ghost came out,
Hickory Dickory Dock" ~ Happy Halloween Folks!

Hmm... I love a certain part of a word in this rhyme..*hee*..see if you can guess it right..

Till then, take care and lots of greetings from:

Yours Truly,
Chris C