Decision

I have made up my mind.

To finally say goodbye.

After trying hard to manage my emotion.

I think this is for the best.

I am just a loser when it comes to being "friends" with certain people.

I wish I hadn't known the person in the first place.

It's my fault.Therefore I shall shoulder the blame.Perhaps I have been expecting and thinking too deeply and too much on the issue.

No regrets. I walk on just like how the person walks his life too. Maybe our aim in life is different.

I shan't think too much now. It's a short short encounter but nevertheless, thank you very much.

Peace.

Acceptance

An apology accepted.
A second chance granted.
Thank you.

With love,

Chris C

Gone

Within a second in a blink of the eye, things changed..just like that without me realising it..A mistake done by the foolish me guided by the irrational bout of emotion..it's gone..feelings changed but the emptiness remains....

Everything I see..I see you..the ache inside just won't go away..It's silly but why do we always fall for the wrong one and push away the right one..

It's a lonely Christmas and an even more lonelier Birthday Celebration..my hands were empty when I stare at them when in fact, there should be your hands holding it but now that it is all illusion..

Tears won't fall but deep inside, it is bleeding...I wished I could have told you that but then my voice just wouldn't reach your ears.

Silently I send my love to you hoping to get your attention even if it is for a brief moment..
Wondering if the image of me ever cross your mind or if I am just another insignificant presence in your life..

I shall now cry and sleep in a sorrowful slumber..

No Shame, No Guilt...Just Love

Dear All,

Is it a sin to be different from others? Even when deep inside, we are all made of the same substance of flesh and bones...

Watch this and think..



Why discriminate? I don't, Do you?



Cheers,

Chris C

From Me to Myself and You Pt 1 : Solitude..

Dear All,

Just stumbled upon this song while I am browsing through my music folder..
Somehow felt that I can actually relate myself to this song..
Thus,
I would like to dedicate this song to myself and also to whom it may concern and lastly but not least,all my readers..


一個人生活 (Yi Ge Ren Sheng Huo/Single Life) by 林凡 ( Freya Lin )





LYRICS :

葉子在窗外輕輕爺
ye zi zai chuang wai qing qing ye
The leaves outside of the window are falling down lightly.

人行道沒有行人走過
ren xing dai mei yiu xing ren zou guo
There are no pedestrians passing by the sidewalks.

鏡子裡的我很不像我
jing zi li de hen bu xiang wo
The me inside the mirror does not seem like me.

自從你離開了我變得很軟弱
zi cong ni li kai le wo bian de hen ruan ruo
Ever since you’ve lefted me, (I’ve) became very weak.

你的影子在每一個角落
ni de ying zi zai mei yi ge jiao luo
Your shadows are at every corner,

好像是在提醒著我
hao xiang shi zai ti xing zhe wo
Like it is reminding me

少了你的陪伴我現在有多寂寞
shao le ni de pei ban wo xian zai you duo ji mo
That without your company, the me right now is very lonely.

我想我可以習慣一個人生活
wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren sheng huo
I think I can get use to living alone.

我想我可以假裝不曾愛過
wo xiang wo ke yi jia zhuang bu ceng ai guo
I think I can pretend that I had never been in love before.

冰涼的夜裡讓眼淚溫熱我
bing liang de ye li rang yan lei wen re wo
The warm tears warms me up during this cold night.

感覺如果要走誰能說 no
gan jue ru guo yao zou shei neng shuo no
If (one of us) need to leave, who would say “no”?

我想我可以習慣一個人生活
wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren sheng huo
I think I can get use to living alone.

在記憶裡面擦去你的承諾
zai ji yi li mian ca qu ni de cheng nuo
Erasing your promises in my memories.

愛情怎麼會是這個結果
ai qing zen me hui shi zhe ge jie guo
How can love have this kind of ending?

愛情是個夢而我睡過頭
ai qing shi ge meng er wo shui guo tou
Love is a dream and I’ve overslept.

[END]

*Lyrics courtesy of chinesemusicblog.com


Yours Singly,

Chris C

From Me to You Pt.4

我活了.. 我愛了.. 我都不管了

心愛到瘋了.. 恨到酸了..就好了

風箏有風 , 海豚有海

我存在在..我的存在

所以不再為愛而愛..

自己存在 在你之外...

分手快乐...你走了....可是我会继续好好的过日子

一个人的 孤单是没什么了不起.....[end]


Yours,

Chris C @ 蒋钿明

Another End

This is something to serve as a final reminder to myself..
A moment to remember: 28/8/10 ; 7.30 pm ..
Where it all ends .. not that this is my first but sometimes a wound cut too deep can be hard to cure..
Then again, I know I will be fine.. It is better to let one to take all the pain rather than both side.. and if that's the case,let me be the one..

To who it may concern,I hope that you are really happy now..

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW BY MICHELLE BRANCH




LYRICS:

Now,
don't just walk away
pretending everything's okay and you don't care about me.
And I
know it's just no use.
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(chorus)
Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now.
Oooh.
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You
took all there was to take,
and left me with an empty plate and you don't care about it, yeah.
And I
am giving up this game,
and leaving you with all the blame, cause I don't care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(chorus)
Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now oooh.
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Oooh.
Are you happy now?

Yeah, yeah.
Do you really have everything you want.
You could never give something you ain't got,
you can't run away from yourself.

Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on tell it to my face or have I been replaced,
are you happy now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ohh, ohh.
Yeah.
ohh oh.
Would you look me in the eye,
could you look me in the eye.
I've had all that i can take i'm not about to break cause I'm happy now.
Oooh.

Are you happy now?


.....and I really hope that you are so my sacrifice will not go in vain.


Yours ,

Chris C

A Friday's Confession

Dear All,

Too Lost In You by Sugababes

I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going in crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can mess with me
(No one can mess with me)

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)


Yours Truly,
Chris C the Confessor

From Me to You Pt.3

Dear All,

It is June already..Time really flies yeah..
Anyway, just want to share a song over here..:)

Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz ft Ludacris


Lyrics:

[Ludacris:]
LUDA!
Now I may not be the worst or the best but you gotta respect my honesty.
And I may break your heart, but I don't really think there's anybody's as bomb as me
So you can take this chance, in the end everybody's gonna be wondering how ya deal
You might say this is Ludacris, but Taio Cruz tell em' how ya feel!

Now listen to me baby
Before I love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna deceive you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I might tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

woah woah woah (x4)

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]
There's no point trying to hide it
No point trying to evade it
I know I got a problem
By doing this behaving

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I might tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]

[Ludacris:]
(Thats all I'm gonna do woman)
Listen, now I'm only gonna break your heart
And shatter and spatter it all into little itty bitty pieces
Whether or not you get it all together
Then its finders keepers and losers weepers
See I'm not trying lead you on, no I'm only trying keep it real
You might say this is Ludacris, but Taio Cruz tell her how you feel!

[Bridge]
And I know karma's gonna get me back for being so cold
Like a big bad wolf I'm born to be bad and bad to the bone
If you fall for me I'm only gonna tear you apart
Told ya from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]

Woah woah woah [x4]


Yours Truly,

Chris C

When Things Crashed Down

Dear All,

I will never ever step my leg into that place again..NEVER..
Somehow I,knew it wasn't a good idea to linger around that place..REGRETS..
and NO..I DON'T enjoy it at all...NOT AT ALL...
In the end of the day..what is left? Anger? Shame? Infidelity? Adultery? Misunderstanding? Blames? Fights? Arguments? Break-ups? Tears...
Feeling Filthy, Dirty and Unclean..
Feeling Betrayed...A trust broken...A relationship jeopardised...All that have been build all this while just crashed down in a blink of an eye..
I am SICK of it..just so not worth it...HATE IT!
Should not have went there in the first place..so much for the experience..with no benefits..
YOU had not known that as much as I am COOL about it,I am also very VULNERABLE at the same time..
All of this is practically relatively new to me..How do you expect me to deal with it?

I am a GONER...Hopeless Case...
Then again, if only I had kept my cool and rationale..
SOLUTION is there..without exaggerating the situation..But all that has been done..Is it too late to reverse the mistake and make amendments? Or is there still a faint glimmer of HOPE for apology and reconciliation?

I admit that I have contribute my part in making things worse by my usual moodiness and silent treatment...BUT...I wished YOU had NOT put WORDS and THOUGHTS in my MIND and MOUTH..and STOP assuming things!
..and GIVE me some TIME and CHANCE to reflect on the situation..

...................All is left is regrets and a broken heart..broken due to the way and the person you think I am..
YOU and ME are both DISAPPOINTMENT to each other..the PROMISE made earlier are now merely another WORDPLAY..
Perhaps it is for the best?

CHRIS C the Traumatised Scarred Soul

From Me to You Pt .2

Dear All,

Just a little something which I would like to share with all of you..hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did..:)

愛してる AISHITEIRU ( I Love You ) by KOURIN (高鈴)



ねぇ　もう少しだけ
もう少しだけ聞いていてほしい
ねぇ　もう少しだけ
もう少しだけわがままいいですか？
Nee mou sukoshi dake mou sukoshi dake
Kiite ite hoshii
Nee mou sukoshi dake mou sukoshi dake
Wagamama ii desuka?
Hey, just a little more,
I want you to listen just a little more.
Hey, just a little more,
can I be a little more wilful?


手にいれた途端に消えてしまいそう
言葉をくれませんか？
Te ni ireta totan ni kiete shimai sou
Kotoba wo kuremasen ka?
It seems like it’ll disappear the moment I obtain it.
Won’t you please say something to me?


『愛している　愛している　世界が終わるまで』
馬鹿げてると笑いながら　口に出してみて
愛している
そんなことが簡単には出来なくて
上手く愛せるようにと
あの空に祈っている
Aishite iru aishite iru
Sekai ga owaru made
Bakagete ru to warai nagara
Kuchi ni dashite mite
Aishite iru sonna koto ga
Kantan ni wa dekinaku te
Umaku aiseru you ni to
Ano sora ni inotte iru
I love you, I love you until the world ends.
Trying to say that - "I love you" as you laugh and call it stupid.
Unable to do such a simple thing easily,
I pray to the sky that I am able to love properly.


ねぇ　知りたくても
知り尽くせないことばかりで
だから　１つにならない２つの体を
精一杯　抱きしめた
Nee shiritaku temo
Shiri tsukuse nai koto bakari de
Dakara hitotsu ni naranai
Futatsu no karada wo
Sei ippai daki shimeta
Hey, although I want to know,
there are too many things I can’t understand.
That’s why we embraced these two bodies
that won’t become one with all our might.


あなたがいるそれだけで　もう世界が変わってしまう
モノトーンの景色が　ほら鮮やかに映る
いつの間にか離れていた　手をつないで歩いてく
上手く愛せているかなぁ
あの空に聞いてみるの
Anata ga iru sore dake demo
Sekai ga kawatte shimau
Monotone no keshiki ga hora
Azayaka ni utsuru
Itsu no ma nika hanarete ita
Te wo tsunaide aruite ku
Umaku aisete iru kana
ano sora ni kiite miru no
The world changes just by you being here with me.
Look, this monotonic scenery is now reflecting such vividness.
Before I’m aware, the separated hands are held together as we walk.
I’ll ask the sky
if I’m loving properly.


いつか離ればなれになる日がきても
あなたを想った日々があればそれでいい
いつか離れた意味を知る日が来るよ
約束するから　明日へ
Itsuka hanare banare ni naru hi ga kite mo
Anata wo omotta hibi ga areba sore de ii
Itsuka hanareta imi wo shiru hi ga kuru yo
Yakusoku suru kara ashita e
Even if the day we must part comes,
having the days where I can think of you is enough.
Someday the day I’ll understand why we separated will come.
Because we made a promise, lets move on to tomorrow.


『愛している　愛している　世界が終わるまで』
馬鹿げてると笑いながら　口に出してみて
愛している
そんなことが簡単には出来なくて
上手く愛せるようにと
あの空に祈っている
Aishite iru aishite iru
Sekai ga owaru made
Bakagete ru to warai nagara
Kuchi ni dashite mite
Aishite iru sonna koto ga
Kantan ni wa dekinaku te
Umaku aiseru you ni to
Ano sora ni inotte iru
I love you, I love you until the world ends.
Trying to say that - "I love you" as you laugh and call it stupid.
Unable to do such a simple thing easily,
I pray to the sky that I am able to love properly.


あの空に祈っている
Ano sora ni inotte iru
I pray to the sky.


Yours Truly,

♫ Chris C ♥

From Me to You

Sometimes when you are unable to get the right words to express yourself or to get a message across..Music can..and here is one,something I would like to tell you albeit not in my own words..

I DO NOT HOOK UP by Kelly Clarkson

Oh sweetheart put the bottle down
You got too much talent
I see you through those bloodshot eyes
There's a cure you found it
Slow motion sparks
You caught that chill
Now don't deny it
But boys will be boys
Oh yes they will
They don't wanna define it
Just give up the game and get into me
If you're looking for thrills then get cold feet

Oh no I do not hook up, up
I go slow
So if you want me
I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh no I do not hook up, up
I fall deep
'Cause the more that you try
The harder I'll fight
To say ... Goodnight

I can't cook no but I can clean
Up the mess she left
Lay your head down and feel the beat
As I kiss your forehead
This may not last
But this is now
So love the one you're with
You want a chase
But you're chasing your tail
A quick fix won't ever get you well

Oh no I do not hook up, up
I go slow
So if you want me
I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh no I do not hook up, up
I fall deep
'Cause the more that you try
The harder I'll fight
To say ... Goodnight

Cause I feel
A distance... between us
Could be over
With a snap of your finger

Oh no..

Oh no I do not hook up, up
I go slow
So if you want me
I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh no I do not hook up, up
I fall deep
'Cause the more that you try
The harder I'll fight
To say ... Goodnight

Oh sweetheart put the bottle down
'Cause you don't wanna miss out...


Yours Sincerely,
Chris C a.k.a The Unintentional Plagiariser

Awaken..Enlightenment..Salvation

Dear all,

The clock shows 2.16am and yet I am still wide awake.Have got nothing much to do besides downloading songs (The internet connection is much smoother during this hour thus making downloading much more efficient and bearable) and trying to cramp in the origins and insertions of muscles into my slow-absorbing brain without much success (Sigh~)

Last week have not been a good one for me..Everything seem to be turning upside down in my world and I am like a shadow drifting aimlessly in the darkness,searching eagerly for a sign to help me to escape from this misery..Then again,with encouragement from the people who was by my side during that dark moment ,I managed to redeem myself and stand on my feet again.I decided that it is useless to mop around waiting for the phone call or message reply which never seemed to arrive..After reading an article forwarded to me by a good buddy of mine, I realised that I am facing one particular psychological disorder known as "Emotional Dependency" syndrome.. I succumb myself to fate and time shall decide and heal this fragile broken soul of mine..Like they say "If something or someone is meant to be yours, it/they will eventually come back to you "...and if it/they doesn't..it just mean that they/it got stuck in the middle of a very bad traffic jam or got lost during the mailing process!!..hehe..Anyway,I would like to thank all those who had help me through..thanks a lot to YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU and YOU (well..although they are my saviours but not nice to mention names right? Anyway,you guys know who you are especially YOU ) :)

As for my temporary "infatuation", I don't know if you will ever happened to be reading this..but if you do, well..I would like you to know that although your unthoughtful actions hurt me and left me helpless, you are forgiven and I wish you all the best in your future undertakings..thanks for the brief but memorable time together..It has been a good experience and eye opener for the naive me..Nevertheless till our paths cross again, I whisper a silent farewell to you, my temporary "infatuation"..

Back to current issues, went to MidValley last Sunday to accompany a friend to shop for his Chinese New Year clothing. I am feeling sorry for him because he chose a wrong person for this job..(ME!!)..why? Simply because I don't really have a good sense of fashion and as far as concerned, perfectionist I may be albeit not a picky one..give me a simple tees and a pair of pants,I am ready to go..(>.<)..Then again not to say the outing isn't fruitful as he still managed to salvage a few pieces of clothing by the end of the day..fuhhh~ at least the long period of standing and walking and crowd squashing does not end in vain..and the best part of the day was that I got to watch an acrobatic show live for the first time of my life..We were just about to head back home when I noticed that a small crowd have started to gather around the centre stage..Feeling curious (Perhaps more of being kiasu and busybody),I dragged my friend along to check things out..We then pick a spot and stand there for like 10 minutes and yet there isn't anything extraordinary and yet we are wondering why are people gathering around there when there isn't any sort of performance on the stage..Feeling as if being fooled,we thought of leaving and head back home instead but in the end still decided to stay back a little longer..and I am proud to say that is the best decision made that day..the performers came running out from the backstage and the show begin...I can only say that I watched the whole acrobatic stunts with awe and excitement..sort of feeling like a small boy once again..:D Managed to snap a few pics of the acrobatic performance although some of them isn't really clear..Here is the link : GuanXi Acrobatic Performance MV CNY 2010

Thats all for now..It is really late now and I shall keep the rest for another time..moreover I am down with a sudden bouts of mild cough..sigh..Hopefully I am able to recover before CNY..Till next time,have a good one folks..:)

Yours Truly,

Chris C. the Enlightened Kiasu Kiddo

A Broken Silent Soul's Confession

Dear all,

It is raining quite heavily out there as I'm typing this...Got caught in the rain earlier while I was walking back from the library campus back to my room..Well,at least the weather tonight would be cooler..Then I realised,while it is raining out there,the similar is occurring inside of me too..

These few days have not been a good one for me..the water supply shortage disaster..the date for my musculoskeletal paper resit is approaching soon and I have yet to prepare thoroughly..and the thought of a particular person who I took a fancy on hurts even more..There isn't much I can say over here..let me share with you the lyrics of a particular song which describes my current feelings very well..Till then,cheers to all of you..

Love,
Chris C a.k.a the disillusioned one


HAVE YOU EVER ? by Brandy

(Chorus:)
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?

Have you ever?

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand?
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away?
You'd give anything
To make them feel the same?
Have you ever searched for words
To get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start?

(Repeat chorus)

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life?
You'd do just about anything
To look into their eyes?
Have you finallly found the one

You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you?
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there

And all you can do is wait
For that day when they will care?

(Repeat chorus)

(Bridge:)
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me?
Gotta get you in my world
'Cause, baby, I can't sleep

(Repeat chorus twice)

Have you ever?