Another End

This is something to serve as a final reminder to myself..
A moment to remember: 28/8/10 ; 7.30 pm ..
Where it all ends .. not that this is my first but sometimes a wound cut too deep can be hard to cure..
Then again, I know I will be fine.. It is better to let one to take all the pain rather than both side.. and if that's the case,let me be the one..

To who it may concern,I hope that you are really happy now..

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW BY MICHELLE BRANCH




LYRICS:

Now,
don't just walk away
pretending everything's okay and you don't care about me.
And I
know it's just no use.
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(chorus)
Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now.
Oooh.
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You
took all there was to take,
and left me with an empty plate and you don't care about it, yeah.
And I
am giving up this game,
and leaving you with all the blame, cause I don't care.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(chorus)
Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now oooh.
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Oooh.
Are you happy now?

Yeah, yeah.
Do you really have everything you want.
You could never give something you ain't got,
you can't run away from yourself.

Could you look me in the eye,
and tell me that you're happy now.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on tell it to my face or have I been replaced,
are you happy now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ohh, ohh.
Yeah.
ohh oh.
Would you look me in the eye,
could you look me in the eye.
I've had all that i can take i'm not about to break cause I'm happy now.
Oooh.

Are you happy now?


.....and I really hope that you are so my sacrifice will not go in vain.


Yours ,

Chris C

Homesick

Dear All,

It is already middle of July already..and next month I would be going for my 3rd Clinical Posting at Malacca General Hospital from 9th August onwards till 3rd September 2010..

It's been a long time since I went home..If I am not mistaken,the last time I went home was during Chinese New Year..almost 5 months ago!! Gasp! I am missing mum and sis..and the goodness of home already..

Somehow,each time when I planned to go home,something would have pop out and disrupt my plans..For example, I am supposed to have a 2 weeks break after my first semester exam but it got cancelled abruptly without any valid reason..sigh..then it is straight to sem 2..Can you imagine how stressful was it?? :(

Anyway,I found this song by Angela Aki titled "HOME" .. Just the right song to express my feeling at the moment...


HOME by Angela Aki




Lyrics ( courtesy of www.corichan.com ):

sensai na ito de soboku na machi ni shibaritsukerareteta koro
miageru tabi ni sora wa utsushita, haruka ni tooi sekai wo
chiisana basho wo ato ni shite kara dore kurai mou tatsu no darou
Home is calling

I was tied to this simple town with a fine thread
and whenever I looked up, the sky reflected a distant world far away
After I leave this small place behind, I wonder how much time will pass till
Home is calling

furusato kokoro no naka de ima demo yasashiku hibiiteru
samishisa ga shimitsuita yume no nai yoru ni wa anata wo yonde iru

Even now, my home is echoing gently in my heart
On the dreamless nights tainted with loneliness, I'm calling you

tokai no sora ni yume wo takushite kokoro wo gisei ni shiteru
yashin to ai no chouwa ga torezu daremo ga samayotte iru
kazaranakatta seijitsu na hibi kono goro nazeka koishiku omou
Home is calling

I entrust my dreams to the city sky, sacrificing my soul
Ambition & love don't mix; everyone is wandering about
They were honest, ungarnished days & for some reason, I recently think of them fondly
Home is calling

furusato taezu ni ai shite kureta sonna hito no kao wo
mou ichido mite mitai, kyoushuu ni karare anata wo yonde iru

I want to once again see the faces
of the people in my hometown who constantly gave me love
Homesick, I'm calling out to you

kako to ima no aida no tobari wo sotto hiraite miru to
sora no wareme kara koboreru hikari ga meguru jidai wo sashite ita
Home is calling

When I open the curtain between the past & the present,
The light spilling from the break in the sky, shines on the revolving times
Home is calling

furusato kokoro no naka de ima demo yasashiku hibiku yo
todomaru koto wo shiranai kibou ni mi wo makasete itemo
samishisa ga shimitsuita yume no nai yoru ni wa anata wo yonde iru
Home is always calling out my name

Even now, my home is echoing gently in my heart
Even if I trust myself to the hope with no limits
On the dreamless nights tainted with loneliness, I'm calling you
Home is always calling out my name

samishisa ga shimitsuita yume no nai yoru ni wa
anata wo yonde iru
furusato wo yonde iru

On the dreamless nights tainted with loneliness
I'm calling you
I'm calling home

Yours Truly,

Chris C. the Homesick Silent Soul

First week of July

Dear All,

Hoping that you are all fine..It's been a long week or at least it seemed to be one..
Was down with flu and mild sore throat but thank God that at least the sore throat is cured..currently nursing my stuffy nose..Must be due to the ever changing weather and also the ongoing construction at my campus..Well,do take care of yourselves and take plenty of fluid..

I have to say that last sem was a blur and this sem is worst..somehow I find it hard to figure out what exactly am I supposed to study..even after going through the module booklet..I mean ,its not that I am totally lost..just that I have no idea as in whereabout to start..

And also eversince the last exam,I found myself increasingly laidback about skipping my usual daily jog fix..wondering if I am really that worn off...perhaps its my body cue telling me its time to slow down..

Owh well...that is all I can say for now..till then..take care peeps

Yours sincerely.

Chris C

A Friday's Confession

Dear All,

Too Lost In You by Sugababes

I go out of my mind
I can't see anything
Cos this love's got me blind
I can't help myself
I can't break the spell
I can't even try

I'm in over my head
You got under skin
I got no strength at all
In the state that I'm in

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

ooh
Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)

I'm going in crazy in love for you baby
(I can't eat and I can't sleep)
I'm going down like a stone in the sea
Yeah, no one can mess with me
(No one can mess with me)

Oooh, my baby
Oooh, baby, baby

[Chorus:]
Baby, I'm too lost in you
Caught in you
Lost in everything about you
So deep, I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you

I'm lost in you
I'm lost in you
I'm lost in everything about you
So deep (so deep), I can't sleep
I can't think
I just think about the things that you do (you do)
I'm too lost in you
(Too lost in you)


Yours Truly,
Chris C the Confessor

A Farewell

Dear All,

How are things going for all of you? I hope that all is well.

Approximately 5 and a half hour from now, someone is leaving Malaysia..To be more precise,one of my lecturer.

Mr. Karthik or fondly known as Mr. 90 Kg ( Due to his weight! ) is flying back to India for good...While being a soft-spoken man,he is also one of the most dedicated tutor I have came across in my life as a student.

Mr.K during Cameron trip

Final Class Photo

Candid Shot

Somehow wished that he could have stayed longer but having a family waiting for him back at India,there is no helping it and perhaps this is for the best.

No doubt that with his absence,things will never be the same..But life goes on and surely this is not a farewell but a new start for everyone..

Thanks a lot Mr.K for your guidance and everything you have done..You will surely be in our ( Cohort 2) heart forever..

Have a safe flight back and all the best in your future undertakings..Do take care and keep in touch.

Yours Truly,

Chris C.

Past, Present and the unknown Future..

Dear All,

Time does fly terribly fast...In a blink of the eye,we have reached halfway through the year 2010.

Looking back in time,so much has happened..yet..

There may lie some unfortunate regret and issue unresolved somewhere somehow...

A new semester has began..unsure of my performance during the last semester but I have a feeling it would not be a good one..then again,I shall go on with my life and wait till then..and from there,I shall think of something.

Life is getting tiring..constant worries everyday..are we meant to exist in this world to be a worrisome creature..paranoid of every moving seconds..expecting the unexpected in the unforeseen future while struggling to live in the present and trying to forget the dark past?

Time is such a powerful tool..the fear of all mankind as nothing can escape from time..Things change..and sometimes it may not be towards the direction you want it to be..and all is left is fragments of memory may it be a good one or vice versa.

Constantly telling myself to move forward and yet move slow..savour every moment to the fullest..Life may not be a bed of roses..but if you try hard enough to pause and observe,one may catch a whiff of the fragrant smell of the roses which is a reminder that beneath every hardship,there would be a reward waiting at the end of the rainbow.

People come and go..not many would have stayed put in your life..each having their own goals in life,thus moving towards their own direction searching for what they longed for..a desire unfulfilled.

Close my eyes and take a deep breath..listens to the inhalation and exhalation of the very life force in our body..the beating of the heart..unconsciously feel the movement of my joints..the wind which blows every strand of my hair..the sound which travels into your ears and creates a story in your mind's eye..

Just need a rest...time and tide may not wait for man but it is in your hands to use whatever time given in your own way albeit every moment passed could never be rewind..

Keeping in touch with the invisible spiritual faith..trying to explain the unexplainable in your own words..trying to catch up with the world..preserving every moment with your loved ones..before it all perishes...

A complicated melody playing inside my head,a mixed reaction of feelings..unsure which path to go..when the heart and mind says otherwise..Isn't life a funny thing..

Just like now itself,finding solace in penning down whatever random musings may it make sense or not..after all its a representative of my winding mind..generated from the consciousness within myself..

You are here..and then gone..so am I..leaving every regrets behind and reaching out to the uncertainty ahead of me..that is the way it should be..no harm looking back once a while but to dwell in it is forbid..

Walking in the streets,shyly gazing the faces of strangers...not daring to make eye contacts..but for sure a silent smile is engraved across the face..

Wishing to expand my horizons..to see the world before it ends..or before my time ends..........


Yours Truly,

Chris C. the Dream Weaver

From Me to You Pt.3

Dear All,

It is June already..Time really flies yeah..
Anyway, just want to share a song over here..:)

Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz ft Ludacris


Lyrics:

[Ludacris:]
LUDA!
Now I may not be the worst or the best but you gotta respect my honesty.
And I may break your heart, but I don't really think there's anybody's as bomb as me
So you can take this chance, in the end everybody's gonna be wondering how ya deal
You might say this is Ludacris, but Taio Cruz tell em' how ya feel!

Now listen to me baby
Before I love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna deceive you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I might tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

woah woah woah (x4)

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]
There's no point trying to hide it
No point trying to evade it
I know I got a problem
By doing this behaving

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I might tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]

[Ludacris:]
(Thats all I'm gonna do woman)
Listen, now I'm only gonna break your heart
And shatter and spatter it all into little itty bitty pieces
Whether or not you get it all together
Then its finders keepers and losers weepers
See I'm not trying lead you on, no I'm only trying keep it real
You might say this is Ludacris, but Taio Cruz tell her how you feel!

[Bridge]
And I know karma's gonna get me back for being so cold
Like a big bad wolf I'm born to be bad and bad to the bone
If you fall for me I'm only gonna tear you apart
Told ya from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. [x4]

Woah woah woah [x4]


Yours Truly,

Chris C