Saturday, May 15, 2010

The stranger beneath myself

Dear All,

I am tired...
Tired of trying to figure out what is it that I want from life...
A successful career? A happy ever after ending? A ......I don't know..whenever someone ask me something..even if it is a simple question like " What would you like to have for dinner?"....my answer will always be " I don't know... or Anything... or I might even repeat the similar question back to the person who asked me..."

Sometimes I just want to escape from life..from reality..Let someone else take over myself while I hide inside a secret hole deep inside my soul...dreaming for eternity..until the time is right for me to wake up and regain my consciousness...such is a way of a daydreamer..a coward...a fantasizer.. such is a person I am..

Trying to lead a life in which I am trying my best to please everyone without considering myself..but recently nothing turns right..sometimes what you do is not appreciated..and you end up being label "selfish" when all you try to do is to make a living and survive in this realistic harsh world..

To my other self...what do you see when I am not around...Do you experience what I experienced...or was it something better?

Exam creeps around the corner...an assignment remain untouched and delayed as usual when procrastination takes over it's course..problems arising each day and no solution found...a heart torn between two..and an immeasurable guilt building up inside each day...

Who am I? What am I? Can someone please tell me..:(

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore by James Morrison



LYRICS:

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching us fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Coz I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

This song has been playing in my WMP over and over and over...It reflects myself and the world I am in now...all I need now is to embrace and look out for the stranger that resides in me..the another me...

That's all for now..this entry may not make any sense but it is certainly something which has been bugging me for quite some time now...Till then,take care and see ya all soon..cheers and God bless..

Yours Truly,

Chris C.

5 comments:

  1. You're a good writer chris. You're good with words. I wish I was.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Fyps: You ARE a good writer!!! Better than me!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, don't fret.
    It is just one of those times you have such feeling.
    Me myself is going through the same thing.
    So, you're not alone and remember, live every single day like there's no tomorrow.

    P/S: Nudge me anytime if you wanna talk, alright?

    ReplyDelete
  4. we are fluctuate like the sky we see, we are flexible like the water we drink. always, there is someone telling me always and indeed true, life is like a wheel. when we are up, always look down to appreciate where we are. the same time, look up when we fallen into the deepest hole in the universe. May sound lame but hey, that's how life to be. there is always a cycle. be patient and do what your flow guides you. simple yet helpful, just back to basic

    ReplyDelete