Tears

Silently crying myself to sleep every night..

No one knows..

Only me..

5th October 2011

Dear All,

I am doing my best to be strong and independent. I am trying my level best to spend each day in a positive manner. Keep going forward but never backward.

Yours Truly,
Chris C

Tired

I am honestly feeling very tired and demotivated..

Can someone please motivate me..let me get back into track..I have been slacking too much..books untouched..knowledge not gained..things are just stagnant..no improvement..

I feel like dying.

Agony

They say each day is a blessing..each moment is to be cherished..

But I don't feel that way..I see only a dark path engraved ahead of me..

The fact that all those sleepless restless nights proved it well..

I can't tell anybody about how I feel..

I can't share the hurt feelings inside me with anybody..

I don't know why but somehow I just can't..

Was it my pride? Was it my fear?

I don't know..I am one step closer to relying on medication to get me through these dark days..

Nothing seemed to matter to me anymore..any moment, I could have gone to waste..

I am tired..tired of all those silent sobbings..tired of all those fake smiles and acts..tired of having to cope with all this and yet pretend to be strong...

Hopelessly hopeless..that's how I would define myself..

Do not apologise because it doesn't help to make things any better...All I can do is to refrain myself from going anywhere near to you..to lessen the pain, to try to release each memories of you from my mind..

The Day When Time Seems to Have Stopped

Without knowingly, the feeling just arises..tears starts flowing involuntarily..invisible hands grasping for the no longer existing missing piece..knees to chest, body rocking to and fro, face upon the folded arms..listening to the fast-paced breath..tasting the saltiness of the falling tears..seeing nothing but a blurry vision which eventually becomes darkness..

Already Gone

Just another end..Doesn't matter because we are always meant to say goodbye anyway.
Either way,life must go on..
Thank you for the experience and memory..

Shit Happens!

Dear All,

Guess what?! I have just been pickpocketed!! *FML* and of all the time..(T.T)

While hearing about all this happening to others and so,never did it once occurred to me that I will fall victim to such incident..

And I was looking so much forward to going back home tomorrow and this happen..say goodbye to my bus ticket and all my important documents in my wallet and not to mention the big sum of cash in it too (T.T)

I will never take the KTM anymore!!!! Never!!!! I rather walk a mile and spend extra than to go through all this miserable shit..how I wish this is all a bad dream and I will just wake up and things are all back to normal..

Btw, this theft happened at the Midvalley KTM station! I hate my life..

:(