Agony

They say each day is a blessing..each moment is to be cherished..

But I don't feel that way..I see only a dark path engraved ahead of me..

The fact that all those sleepless restless nights proved it well..

I can't tell anybody about how I feel..

I can't share the hurt feelings inside me with anybody..

I don't know why but somehow I just can't..

Was it my pride? Was it my fear?

I don't know..I am one step closer to relying on medication to get me through these dark days..

Nothing seemed to matter to me anymore..any moment, I could have gone to waste..

I am tired..tired of all those silent sobbings..tired of all those fake smiles and acts..tired of having to cope with all this and yet pretend to be strong...

Hopelessly hopeless..that's how I would define myself..

Do not apologise because it doesn't help to make things any better...All I can do is to refrain myself from going anywhere near to you..to lessen the pain, to try to release each memories of you from my mind..